Social Anxiety - The Inferno lyrics

I kept talking about monsters under my bed But I forgot to account for the monsters in my head The truth is that I've gone down the wrong road a few times But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy I'm just not so good at this thing called life If I could I'd take the first exit off this ride I'm tired of pretending that I am always fine The truth is I'm just a wreck who knows how to rhyme My mom looks at me now different than before She sees how this life has rotten me to the core I've hidden the truth about me scribbled on papers Cuz the truth is really just a clearer picture Maybe I'm a liar, but is it still a lie when it turns true? All of my greatest fears live inside of me as proof The truth is that I've gone down the wrong road a few times But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy I'd do anything to believe that I'm good But all the signs keep pointing to my demise My parents pray that one day I'll believe in god But if their god exists, he must be flawed And it's just like me to bite the hand that feeds But I never meant to hurt anyone with these brittle teeth I've made it this far in life and that's a feat But every now and then I've fallen at the devil's feet I keep crying “wolf,” but this is all on me I've disgraced anyone who has ever loved me I've taken advantage of those who just wanted me to succeed I've set fire to everything I'd been given for free But I'll never be the person you want me to be And I don't think I will ever be free of this disease The truth is that I've gone down the wrong road a few times But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy I get more desperate as time pa**es by How did I resign myself to such a mediocre life? There's a special place in hell for people like me The kind of guy that stabs someone just to watch them bleed But you'll never find someone just like me A person so perfectly entrenched in duality The truth is that I've gone down the wrong road a few times But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy Maybe I'm only meant to be someone's second choice I just wanted my music to serve as a voice If there's greatness in me I haven't found it yet It must be hiding beneath the pains in my chest I see you all there watching me from the sidelines Hoping that I trip and fall just one more time Just so you can point fingers at and say you're right Yeah, you're right, I'm despicable and trite I won't give you the satisfaction of my reaction Consider this song my call to action I've heard that the meek will inherit the earth As soon as the bold finish poisoning the dirt This is what I get for wearing my heart on my sleeve A ripped shirt and a notebook full of reprieves The truth is that I've gone down the wrong road a few times But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy Where do my decisions leave me in this life? Somewhere in between apathy and suicide People keep telling me to just “sit back, enjoy the ride” But I can't let myself become victim to this device I've been told that this world belongs to the blind That's enough to convince me to gouge out my eyes If you told me it belonged to the deaf I would've ripped my ears right out of my head I'm just a big bad wolf living in a world of sheep And every time I set to attack my bones creak All I've ever wanted was to be happy But happiness was never meant for someone like me It's this loneliness that I have grown to despise And I've adjusted my life to circumvent these lies But I've burnt every bridge when a pattern would arise To prevent the fallout from affecting your life But now I'm hurting more than ever before The devil and god in my head keep raging this war And every day is a new fights to settle the score It's a struggle that constantly leaves me wanting more But I'd never think to blame you where I fell short This is where my conscience tends to contort The truth is that I've gone down the wrong road a few times But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy