I was twenty when I had my first beer. It was a Miller Lite in Jay's bedroom. Bill and Jay were there. And I felt funny when I walked toward the stairs down to the bathroom. I thought, "So this is how alcohol feels?" And I can't erase the blank expressions off my face, yet I expect you to know when I am and when I'm not okay. Someone sober drive my car. Drop me off in my front yard. Honk the horn three times to wake up both my neighbors dogs.