Sketch Menace - Bender vs Sketch Menace (Title Match) lyrics

[Round 1: Bender] So he's been writing bars for me since his worthless a** heard of Flight Distance I've been writing bars from him last 35 minutes Congratulations on your dick riding campaign you are not messing around I would list off all the rapper more deserving of a title shot but there's only a 1:45 left in this round See I'm Saint Peter the Gatekeeper player hate me or not The pen game is end game all your lame schemes will flop They gased you up, said keep climbing and you may reach the top Now get prepared for the fall like a hay fever shot So make your jokes about how the only cake I make is Black Forest And my a** orbits the Earth and my pants size is Panormous And you'll think that's clever as sh** cause your homies will clap for it But behind your back they're cutting up your lines like a scratch chorus You sweaty pig skin piece of sh** Patient zero for swine flu You got a big mouth pig snout, too bad your rhymes don't stick out like your eyes do I will run up behind you snatch those fries from out your ride at the drive-thru Hit your throat with a punch have you holding your gut and throwing up Blood like a Piru Sorry player ain't no way I'm fearin you or wasting that A material Better pray for a miracle when I run up on with a mask on like Ray Mysterio I k** mics and scrape the serial, f** it sorry player My shorty stored a razor in her Jordan trainer So before you make your case she'll shut you down like ma**ive organ failure I'll fornicate your who*e and make her fetch your morning paper You're a Quaker You beating me is about as likely as you gettin a nice BeeJ off your gorgeous Mormon neighbor Blow, hand, rim - she give out more jobs then the Board of Labor But this enormous failure couldn't get to first base batting for the majors What's more, the way I scorch the page could warm the glaciers And raise the shores from Northern Spain to Ecuador to Asia When I'm putting down a cla**ic like Clapton recording Layla Chlorinate your Gene pool, I'm a master of this imagery See I'm a portrait painter so a Sketch ain't really sh** to me Y'all knew I'd be back with a back story for later To come back and chalk this sketch out like a black board eraser Avacados ad for this could be a morbidly gory horror trailer When I morph into the Minotaur and break your physical form to vapor And how you repping the West b**h you thought Ant Banks was Vivian from Fresh Prince And you were convinced that Spice 1 was a mother f**ing corn chip flavor Check your source of data, see I even have dope setups like sting opertations Ain't no hearts in this game of cards and this Kings not to play with So any judges feel this was a tough call, f** y'all I had him complete smashed after 8 bars, like a pub crawl [Round 1: Sketch Menace] See people were upset when they found out I was named second-I was named the next contender When I was named the next contender Well rest a**ured you're getting left for dead, cause I'm as authentic as the 7th letter Head is severed, meta centers, identify you by your dental records Like you never took the strata casters from your name Cause after you get played you'll get dismembered Treat him like I was Jimmy Hendrix You get beat to d**h, you're just a fender Bender When you collide with me it'll be of biblical proportions Claiming you're a legend against Arcane with that pitiful performance You think you're remaining undefeated I'll make sure that mission gets aborted You'll crash quicker than the Hindenburg This kids Flight Distance will get shortened See you need to break the chain to pieces and f**ing divvy up the portions To your staff and crew and writing team and your literary sources You need to give it up an forfeit, this here is your quarterly review If you think I'm going in to lose well you're horribly confused Cause for the first time you'll see Bender bite off more than he can chew So why is everyone so convinced this porky b**h would win this? He's just a coke addicted bloated gimmick, he's not willing to go the distance sh**, if you even mention the word "sports" to gym or Total Fitness He gets motion sickness he'll start to lose focus and go comatose in minutes Not saying sh** like if you poaches your writtens So when I put your hands around your throat and show no forgiveness Til you start turning blue like Fulsom Prison You won't see him and his homie Loe doing baseball signals and blowing kisses You're too close for this, it's so suspicious The way you orbit this little foreign portly midget You'd almost think Loe's ego own restricted solar system [?] back to them Willy Wonka that got the golden ticket Fronting like you're on the road to riches but no one's showing interest Like you're rolling with a loaded clip, but you're a f**ing joke admit it See I can play the rhyme game too Bender, you're just another hopeless victim And I ain't even wasting Louis Griffin, Sophie Simmons The Olson Twins or Corey Haims [?] f**ing Souls Of Mischief Cause I can put him in a box and close the lid cause I'm known for vicious acts Cause I can put an end to Benders like a prohibition act You're Homer Simpson fat [Round 2: Bender] Now the champ is here... to bring this amature back in to planet Earth This is the '86 shuttle disaster, watch the Challenger crash and burn My sounds a federal issue, semi-automatic Beretta pistol You sound like the rap cypher at every Ivy league frat party I've never been to See he'll spend his nights at home reciting most these lines I wrote, he's a fan With the kind of flow 95 year olds would find atrociously bland Now rightly so watch Flight explode it's time to blow like we planned Cause we got ties at home combined with those worldwide promoting our jams They provide the dough I'll fly the globe and rhyme at shows with my fans London, Paris, Malaysia hell I'm tryna go to Japan Had my rifle scope on this title so I sniped it bro I'm the man Well this is all you have and you've never held a microphone in your hands You said Aspire should be ashamed for what he said about the Jews In all truth there's volumes what that says about your views When you had four rounds of lazy mexican jokes against that guy Dan Or a bunch of Arabic stereotypes for a kid from Iran Now you can say it's hard to play'em he probably learned it from his parents Or the pastor at his church that preaches sermons to the parish No, first admit that your the person that deserves to be embarra**ed Then learn to tell the difference between a Persian and a Arab Yo what's next you gonna hit Diaz with your best zingers on Jamaican folks Call Manik a snake charmer, act out how Syco rapes that goat I've heard better racist jokes from 8 year olds now Sketch plans to be king sh** your the reason real rappers like Osa won't even step back in this ring I'm not here to call him a Nazi I just hate what he does He sets up for a cheap laugh that's all he's capable of Never respected this culture he'll never understand it We've all heard that in his voice from the first generic punch he landed Talk sh** about my team since '09 like you somebody special Calling Pesc a f*ggot behind his back like you were up on his level See one thing I never did to make my claim for this belt Was dick ride a bigger name to make a name for myself [Round 2: Sketch Menace] Against 24 you said you've done things that would haunt him And that statement alone makes me laugh hysterically Claiming you got that snub, that .38 with the nose b**h if you're toaster smoking your toaster's broken, you ain't waving the chrome You live a 16 minute bus ride away from Charron I mean you got the body type of a washed up professional wrestler So who you think you messing with Bender? Nothing would happen if you went through a metal detector sh**, the only reason you would ever set off a sensor was if you were in a medical center And it was an emergency cause you had extremely high ventricle pressure Get the message that I'm giving, you need some exercise tips Cause based on Bender's rhymes and Bender's size If his career met the sky's limits, it'd be an attempt to defy physics Cause I'm beating his Flight Distance is less than five minutes So check his website out, the domain name will say it all Flightdistance.net cause you'll need something to break your fall So I don't completely hate you Bender I have to set the record straight You came out swinging against Arcane so I found what happened in the second strange You started crashing began to gasp it was like someone came and snatched your breath away You started plummeting so fast it was like your cabin pressure changed See this drunk is finished, above the limit, stumbling and double fisting Until he starts suffering from tunnel vision I'm leaving Uncle Buck here with his money missing And punch drunk like he was Sonny Liston So f** with me, become a victim, you ain't going home the winner How do you expect to hold the title for another moment as the chosen victor When you're a drunken low life piece of sh** Bender you can't even hold your liquor See he keeps his personal life a secret in hopes it'll throw off his competition Afraid of what they might find out will compromise his image So if I start talking 'bout the dishes he's washing for a living sh** maybe all the people here will stop believing all that garbage that he's spitting I mean your job is in the kitchen, you should have a lot of pots to piss in So any bars about you being hard I find awfully contradicting So get this b**h a stack of dishes, sh** he's leaving hours early Licked every f**ing plate clean didn't get a single towel dirty So let's get this straight, you're a dish washer that gets drunk Goes to battle events and acts like a f*g Ayo where's Rich at? This dude's f**ing jacking your swag See he's been taking shots of the Captain sour jack and some Jaeg' So it's easy to body Bender he's already half in the bag [Round 3: Bender] {​Chokes}​ Now we both put in work this year, at least 20 battles between us But you ain't main event material, there should be at least 20 battles between us You a groupie nothing more that 2 on 2 was painful to watch Next time you ask Illmac out on a dinner date, you might wanna wait until the cameras are off I'll have your blood oxidizing on my hand like Pontius Pilate The awful hybrid of god and science colonized from Monster Island I walk with giants you lost your mind if you thought this swine could cross Goliath f** a Hockey riot, if I catch this L you gonna see the mob get violent See it isn't safe around my way this b**h can fade 1000 ways I'll dig a grave 10 miles away where his remains get doused in flames {​chokes}​ You give away 10,000k now just to take away this crown today So it's gonna be extra sweet to watch you limp away without the chain I said pick a date and crowded place we can finalize this concept Between a Himalayan Mountain range and a dried up pile of dog sh** See these punches have got this b**h think Conan hit her A granite fist to the chin like Rodin's Thinker And let me paint you this emotional picture I get tore up and loaded from the smoke and the liquor Find your family while they're home having dinner Door explodes into splinters, Uncle Joe gets thrown in the sh**ter Bend over your sister and choke your Doberman Pincher like a Boa constrictor And if Grandma want it too she gets thrown in the river Now see what's funny though is he thinks we ain't spottin the difference And the bars he been spitting ever since god has been with him With God as my witness with Hollohan sitting locked up in prison He'll have to get all of his writtens during Conjugal visits You seen his talent you latched on he was your lottery ticket But he introduced you to yayo and got you addicted Sold you rocks from the kitchen that left you poverty stricken So ones a genius on d** the other one obviously isn't You on gods dick daily you polytheistic Try to hop on mine but I dont polly with b**hes Now all of you listen that one time Tricky, Jeff and Charron slept over one night at your place You didn't have sh** for Aspire so you sat and combined all your brains To come up with 60% of the battle that got you a shot at this title today And if that sh**s not the truth then Cory Charron lied to my face So next time you hear this little puppets gums start to flap You better ask yourself who's pen hes got shoved up his a** [Round 3: Sketch Menace] See when Bender flows, it's regulated like a metronome I can hear your weak heart beating like a stethoscopes So I'm guess that breath control was never embedded in your genetic code See you're the type of dude to stretch a scheme off of Human Centipede And half way through it you'll start turning red begin to lose his breath and wheeze And as useless as it seems Every person in the room will yell and scream And as far as I'm concerned, that does nothing but falsely boost your self esteem See I'm confused to say the least as to why some of y'all still act like this guy's a problem You'll hear a line like, "I'll take the piss out of you. Like a catheter." Most of y'all would turn your noses up like, "Man that line's awful." Till you found out it came from this f*ggot's mouth then you're like, "Never mind it's awesome!" See I'll say he's a tiger shark and I'll be some sort of inferior animal It just seems you pick 'em at random and I don't see how they're really compatible I mean you told Arcane you were a pitbull but you ain't got me convinced So if your crew's a bunch of [?] and Pesci's the top dog of your clique Well the only thing that makes you a pitbull is that you got your jaws locked on his dick And yeah I noticed you lost some weight, you think that sh** would really matter? sh** the only reason why this dude's not getting any fatter Cause he's gotta work for what he has now since they took away his silver platter See while I was travelling back and forth between Toronto, Calgary, Van' and Oakland He's had his record served to him, hand picking all his past opponents I worked and earned the spot I'm in, the future champ has spoken The title is only as respected as the motherf**ing man that holds it See when Twist first had the title it was the beginning days of this here movement He came with that comedic style, people claimed he'd never lose it Hollohan quickly proved that theory wrong with a painful execution And went on to defend it against Jack sh**t and win and remains the only person to this day to do it He lost it unexpectedly to The Saurus, an American Which at first didn't seem like the greatest of solutions But despite his looks, helped push the league and bring a few new faces to the movement Then Arcane had it Well that was strange and just confusing So we're all happy when you took it Bender I'm not able to dispute it But when I strip you of the title there ain't no making up excuses Just consider it another of the stages of improvement Cause I'm the perfect package call it the chain of evolution You'll be stricken with headache, depression, shortness of breath as he attempts to focus Chest pains, regret, the feeling of pressure on his head and shoulders You're dead weight it's the end, a cold sweat like you're getting sober But it's time to face reality cause the f**ing bender's over