You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch Author: Dr. Seuss You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch You really are a heel You're as cuddly as a cactus You're as charming as an eel Mr. Grinch You're a bad banana With a greasy black peel You're a monster, Mr. Grinch Your heart's an empty hole Your brain is full of spiders You've got garlic in your soul Mr. Grinch I wouldn't touch you, with a Thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch You have termites in your smile You have all the tender sweetness Of a seasick crocodile Mr. Grinch Given the choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crockodile You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch You're a nasty, wasty skunk Your heart is full of unwashed socks Your soul is full of gunk Mr. Grinch The three words that best describe you best Are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk." You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch You're the king of sinful sots Your heart's a dead tomato splot With moldy purple spots Mr. Grinch Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing With the most disgraceful a**ortment of deplorable Rubbish imaginable Mangled up in tangled up knots You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch With a nauseaus super-naus You're a crooked jerky jockey And you drive a crooked horse Mr. Grinch You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool Sandwich With arsenic sauce