[All: Signor Benedick the Moore] Hiding in the darkness was Jack Harkness He sparked his last cigarette set for the night He parked his Chevy cross the street then put up his feet Rummaged through his cooler for something to eat Then took a peep at the east side window of Bad manor While he peeled his bannanar He made out the silhouette of the banner that probably read “Happy Birthday Tanner” Shook his head and tightened his grip on his spanner Always be prepared Well that's what nana told him But unable to sit still he approached the gate Hoping that fate would be something that tonight he could possibly negate After all he wasn't supposed to be alive He wasn't supposed to have seen the things he saw Or to the police have told the lies How could he have told them about the flash of teeth And the crimson wreath And that the body the victims to the earth had bequeathed Were presently underneath The mansion without disbelief Words were his sword and deception a capable sheath He'd have to keep his introductions fairly brief There were no guards or dogs not even a single leaf Which was strange since autumn started a couple weeks ago But no stranger he supposed than what the fates to him had just bestowed He approached the door without so much as a plan Spanner in hand Stomach churning and legs of spam But if he could expose this murderous scam With his own hands He'd finally feel like the man And his blog would make prime time YES He looked down at how he was dressed Holes in his pants Stains on his vest It wasn't his best But probably not his worst And just as the door opened he noticed a terrible thirst What a terrible curse "Who dis n***a here?" He heard this from the doorway Past the door man Jorge And rugs from Norway Sat Bad Tanner The owner of the mansion and birthday boy Who was not happy someone interrupted his birthday joy He wore wine red robes silken in nature And discussed something secret in an ancient nomenclature Pa**ing around some kind of paper From which was inhaled a strangely pungent metallic smelling red vapor Jack took a second to reflect on his idiocy Realizing this was no safer than rolling around in pigs blood and jumping into the lions cage at the zoo ACHOO Someone sneezed Jack murmured "bless you" Tanner appreciated the manners of the man with the spanner who had stumbled into his birthday party at the manor Though the manner of which was not mentioned by the event planner Tanner invited him to the table Providing he was able to walk Yes come have a seat Jack shuffled his feet He could still feel the thirst even though it was discreet He looked into his hosts eyes and suddenly wanted to sleep But sat in the chair adjacent Not falling over was a feat He realized that though it had the feeling of a feast There wasn't a single item of food displayed to eat His horror when he made the connection Drained his complexion “THEY”RE GONNA EAT ME!” "Nah nephew we gon' smoke you"