[Verse 1] He's your uncle, not your dad He's the best friend you ever had So, come on, dig, dig, dig in until it hurts Just remember Pearl Harbor The Alamos and nothing could be worse [Verse 2] He's your favorite relative And he needs a lot to live So just bring, bring, bring everything until you bleed And he'll send back what he don't need [Verse 3] If you're not in form, ten-forty's your salvation By deprivation of temptation Dark and blondes I hear are not deductible Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me? [Verse 4] When he calls you as he may do Don't be frightened, red white and blue Just be thankful you don't live in Leningrad He's your uncle, not your dad [Verse 5] If you're honest, you don't have to shake and shiver The food is lousy up the river It's give and take and he does all the talking Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me? [Verse 6] Life has two things you can't subtract d**h and taxes to be exact So just pa-pa-patriotically declare He's your uncle, he's your uncle, not your dad