Shuffle-T - Marlo & Shuffle-T vs Joker Starr & Verb T lyrics

[Round 1: Marlo/Shuffle T] [Marlo] He called me middle cla**, nerdy posh, yeah I've heard it - lost Mate, you're from f**ing Slough, don't act like you've heard some shots And that you murder lots You probably have a perfect job, at Wernham Hogg [Shuffle T] Now when I heard that battle was Shuffle T and Marlo versus Joker T and Joker Starr on June 22nd in Plymouth I was happy with the situation A battle with a legend who's music is known across different nations I thought I'd act as interviewer, and get some information So, Marlo, tell me who is your biggest source of inspiration? [Marlo] So Solid Crew Forgive the forced multi but you creeps are not on a youth steez You're on the swallowing soup, posture is doomed, shopping for brooms steez I don't care if he's prepared a scheme declaring that my hair's receding You two are barely breathing and yeah believe it's comical to me You know what, I've got to stop following you T [Shuffle-T] Why's that? Well, let's look at the following clues please [Shuffle-T] Okay Soweto and Ricky Riley we're collectively sixty five Not to mention that Liquid guy Now this should have been obvious to me, 'cos that Shuffle attracts older men [Shuffle-T] Like what? Like a paedophile watching The Goonies [Shuffle-T] You're old, I give it half a term before you start to turn to Hawaiian shirts and Crocs [Marlo] You get heartburn A lot [Marlo] You can only half turn your cogs You can't learn to jog [Marlo] You fart worse than dogs And you can't work your co*k [Marlo] Your battling gag is that you actually rap like you're practically having a nap Don't flop, what? For you two it's more like Don't Nod Off I think the old guy napping state swagger's great Your minds must constantly travel in pa**ive waves So if either of you try to claim that you were slept on by the fans today it's probably because you literally slept during their reactions mate So even with dope bars you won't last - accept it 'Cos so far you folks can't have rested Go home Starr and soak up your bedding You don't go hard, you go narcoleptic [Shuffle-T] And this so-called God hasn't given a single blessing And both of you just come with a simple presence Just a boring sleepy flow with no sk** that sets in It's ironic you're narcoleptic but you're not inte-resting [Marlo] Shuffle-T, that was a decent bar Really smart, I especially liked the stealing part [Shuffle-T] [?] was a robber don't even start Now Joker's wack, old and black With rolls of fat, OPRAH SWAG That homeless swag That can I sleep on your sofa swag And you know that he won't fold it back Seriously, it's an open fact From the amount you choke and gag This could have been me and Verb-T in a solo match But he'd probably find a way to choke in that On top if that, he can't go off the top and free a damn rhyme So often he'll flatline [Marlo] Yeah, Joker Starr? More like Loser Starr We did not agree on that line [Marlo] It seems there was some talk in jest About a little event called Forgive and Forget For all of them who's performance was an awkward mess You know who I'm talking about: Anton Murphy, Anton Murphy, Anton Murphy [Shuffle-T] And even battles with a cause of d**h, like caustic Jeff Now you're the vets But with the amount that you choke there's no doubt that you know that you'll be next So that your event will just be called 'Forget' [Shuffle-T] Now genuinely speaking, these blokes are great Now Verb, I don't know what to expect out of you b**h Because in your Flex battle what you said sounds amusing and your best rounds'll get crowds to get rowdy to it But I choked out your music [Shuffle-T] What did you say? I said I checked out his music [Shuffle-T] Oh okay I was just choking you weren't sounding stupid [Shuffle-T] Now Choker Starr and Verb Choke are choking hard but choke choke [Marlo] The choking starts with Joke Choke but choker bars to no choke [Shuffle-T] Now Choker Star with boats choker choke a choke with choke choke [Marlo] Your sober farce will choke boats but choke-amotive choke choke [Shuffle-T] Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke [Marlo] Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke [Shuffle-T] Checkity-choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke [Shuffle-T] Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke [Marlo] Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke [Shuffle-T] Checkity-choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke [Together] That's a Joker choke a choke choke choke choke [Round 2: Verb T/Joker Starr] [Verb T] I've heard Marlo rap, he likes spitting lyrics fast What's the point in doing that when there's no rhythm in your bars? See what I reckon bruv is you need to step it up because you spit fast but stumble over bars and mess 'em up You're like the vocal version of some real pathetic chump That runs real fast in a hurdles race but forgets to jump See maybe that's 'cos you've never rapped on a beat before But you do have a Soundcloud and that had me laughing bruv It says "Theo K Marlo, I mostly do mash-ups but I do have some harder stuff" Yeah, you got some hardcore sh** Theo? What's your crew called, the mash-up gangster clique? What do you do? Fuse a bit of Flashdance with some Hammer sh**? I mean, for people that don't know, his mash-ups consist of him taking elements from one rubbish song And mixing it really badly with elements from another one So when I heard you do that, I wasn't surprised at all Because the way you rap shows no original type of thought You just take elements and parody every person that you've ever heard rhyme before [Joker Starr] Your first battle against Josh Fox, you parred Young'un Set up Fox put that boy in a box, proceed to start running No intro, just cut to the chase, get them bars coming Oh I get it, you posh boys wanna cut to the chase 'cos you're enthusiastic about fox hunting Put it to your parents and the cla** that they gave you Embracing the cla** like it's a lesson you came to The cla** in my bars that I spray do MARLO, you're so middle cla** you're like lunchtime slap bang in the middle of a school day He hates the working man, he hates the working cla** like he studied for exams but he couldn't make his grade [Verb T] See Marlo's not a good rappper, I don't care what they say He sounds like he approaches every single clash he does in the same way Runs up to his mates like 'Hey, guess what boys! I'm gonna say some stuff that URL rappers gonna say, but I'm gonna use my posh voice!' 'It's gonna be sick, I'm telling you Cos I'm gonna rap posh, but fast and aggressive like that Arab guy from America And then he looks in the mirror and says: 'Marlo drops it harder, Marlo's got this mastered I'm like a tornado in a tuxedo - I'm a posh Dizaster' [Joker Starr] You wack rappers no longer want to be smack rappers, I smack rappers Lock away you posh boys when I rap, you see Too regal for us rap MCs, they want to set up their own scene And call it the 'Fox Hunting Battle League' [Verb T] 'Coming to you live from Fleet in Hampshire, home of Marlo We present 'Fox Hunt Battles' I said, 'Ayo posh smack, how have you got me battling against the guy that doesn't have a spine? Your conversation is asinine Talk to you? I don't have the time Your main b**h is not kosher, no sir That b**h is a ma**ive swine [Joker Starr] Marlo, I'll break your name into fractions I'll bang your ma on the low, she likes to do the rapper Listen, if you see me walking round your posh Chichester estate, holding a mag It's not a nicotine patch gonna stop me from smoking these f*gs I told you posh boys smoking can tarnish your image That's why you only smoke Lamberts, because the word Butler is in it [Verb T] No, no, no, blud don't k** him, let me k** him GAY CHAP Marlo HATES RAP Can't flow, FACE SLASHED Arm broke, TAKE THAT, BARLOW [Joker Starr] It's like I work in a sophisticated restaurant When I'm trying to lay down man 'cos you folks don't pay It's like I'm employed as a silver servant, because I do my best work When I'm picking up the metal and I hold those trays Yes, posh boy, I hold those trays I stand with Hors D'ouevres I pop those cans with a can opener Say it slower I said I pop those cans with a can open-Eurgh [Verb T] He's dead, pour out some Evian for the dead homie [Round 2: Marlo/Shuffle-T] [Marlo] There's a lot of things I don't like about you Let's talk about your pen game It's pretty weak you could say The sh** that leaks from your brain puts more kids to sleep a day than a paediatric anaesthetist mate However, you did succeed to create A written scheme I can rate Which was clearly surveyed And strictly treated for days - your Wikipedia page The stuff he says about himself is too much, it's mental He describes Verb T like the dude's something special In my eyes, you've won the medal for douche-c*nt potential on a new f**ing level It's hard to kick a man once he's down But just in case you think my shoe must have settled Here's an actual real quote for you lot to revel [Shuffle-T] "In the late nineties, an underage Verbs frequented open mic nights across London Oh you bloody rebel [Shuffle-T] And Joker's always pulling the race card In any mad different places So you have to be careful what you say or he'll call you a fat little racist But I picked up some tips you see, some handy business cases If you're to say [Marlo] I have lots of black friends That's being racist If you're to say [Marlo] I'm not being racist, but... That's being racist So logically, obviously, you have to say the opposite to avoid being seen as a clan-wielding sadist So I have no black friends, I hate black people and I am being racist? [Marlo] When Joker raps, you absolutely have to know he's black That's the only stat this man promotes In fact, he warns people, as if he only attracts blind folk [Shuffle-T] Hi Joker, I'm Shuff- 'Yeah, I'm actually a black guy' [Shuffle-T] That's nice, I have eyes though [Shuffle-T] See, 'cos we've been following you mate [Marlo] And there's a lot of sh** you say [Shuffle-T] That is locked upon your race [Marlo] In your raps [Shuffle-T] So we're obviously afraid [Marlo] That you're obviously gonna say [Shuffle-T] That we're obviously gonna say [Marlo] That you're black [Shuffle-T] But hold on a second mate [Marlo] That is not at all the case [Shuffle-T] And we're honestly ashamed [Marlo] You thought that [Shuffle-T] Well you positively made [Marlo] A horrible mistake [Shuffle-T] Here's what we've got to say [Marlo] You're white [Shuffle-T] Do not act like this is not true You're about as white as the Lindy Hop move You'd look like Villun, if Villun got spooked He's racist as well, one of Hitler's offshoots Probably part of a linching mob too Every Halloween he hits the locker rooms and gets changed into a minstrel constume [Marlo] Same story with every one you clash Love the fact you always want us to trash your colour man [Shuffle-T] Yeah you wanted us to trash your land so you could rebu*tal back that we're part of the f**ing clan? [Marlo] Well we've got other plans [Shuffle-T] You're not even a brother man [Marlo] You're not even f**ing black [Both] Why don't you rebu*tal that? [Marlo] Ahead of me, Verb, is where you'll never be, Verb What's so f**ing great about the letter T, Verb? You know what kind of social sect is known to rep the pettiest verb followed by the letter T? Nerds (points to Shuffle-T) [Shuffle-T] I'm incredibly hurt And in your last two on two, you called Tony D lazy Verb please, here's the reason why that kind of concerns me See both of our names are a word - T I chose Shuffle because my shuffles impress the girls, see I chose Shuffle because it's an actual f**ing word, T You chose Verb because you're too lazy to pick a Verb, T So in the name game I'm repping, Verb ain't near You may as well have f**ing called yourself [Insert Name Here] And I can't wait to hear about the tracks we don't make That goes straight past, see Because battling and music are similar but not the exact same path, T So saying that we can't do this because we can't speed through a fast beat is like saying 'Snowboarders are sh** mate' [Marlo] Why's that mate? [Shuffle-T] 'Cos they can't ski' So if those are the angles you came to use Then both of you clearly played to lose 'Cos we're the reason that this vid is gaining some major views So our advice we say to you is you should stick to making tunes [Marlo] And that advice is not aimed at you (points to Joker Starr) [Shuffle-T] Time [Round 2: Verb T/Joker Starr] [Joker Starr] The first time I met Shuffle-T, he said to me Joker Starr, I'm a big fan, I masturbate to your battles Pause, he admitted, and for that I thank you It just goes to prove you're a f**ing wa*ker You also said to my boy Big J You wanna cum on his face You actually sat down, wrote that and planned it The h*mos**ual angle is nothing new that's landed You just thought of h*mos**ual things and antics But everything you thought that's h*mos**ual you just got from a pamphlet/Pamflit [Verb T] I would agree, cos you even stretch out those schemes with a relevant multi-syllable and reckon it's ultra-lyrical Plus you do talk a lot of gay sh** but you're not actually into shagging guys So I guess you strategised and came up with that plan designed To corner the gay market so you could make pink paper like Financial Times See I know you all appreciate that line when you look back And so does Marlo 'cos he was like 'Oo, Financial Times, that's a good rag' See Shuffle, you had a few clashes but bro, howcome you haven't evolved? You can rhyme words well, do comedy but can't actually flow So maybe you should stick to comedy 'cos when you're rapping you know It's kind of like a kind of like a cyclist trying to drive an F1 car You can't make that leap because you don't understand the mechanics involved [Joker Starr] See these two, this is the battle you've had just yet We don't view you as competition Your style's like a horoscope, it's clear you looked up at the stars to improve your wisdom I mean they walk just like him, bang on their chests and talk just like him But I bet that's part of the plan Verb T they up here acting like they ain't some of our fans Look at them star-struck, and I ain't even strike 'em with the palm of my hand Look at them, their whole style is like a telescope searching for the stars' alignment They look up to the stars so they can understand the science It's like a constellation Nah, it's like a con still, eh son This is gonna be a meteor shower, then a shooting star I said these boys dead, if you don't believe me, T or show Eurgh there'll be a shooting, star BARS [Verb T] See Shuffle, me rhyming with you That's feeding time at the zoo Right now a kid that had terminal cancer wouldn't even climb in your shoes It don't matter how badly I beat you, people be shrugging when I did it 'Cos this is like Lebron James dunking on a midget You can't survive at this altitude I'm on another level so of course I talk down to you But that's what I'm supposed to do when I'm dealing with a little man So I'm f**ing up Shuffle like a Blackjack dealer with a crippled hand Apply the pressure to your brittle back Your ribs will snap Whoever's with you will leave quicker than those bandwagon fickle fans when they're switching to a different fad See right now this is apt, 'cos I really respect how you've got the crowd And they go crazy for you chumps But if you can't prove it over time then you're nothing more than flavour of the month So b**h stop hanging on to April 'cos it's done [Joker Starr] You know what you and Daylyt have in common? You're both poofs I can tell by your star sign, Aquarius? Now you can see by the signs, you can see what a queer he is Be gay and proud When Gaylight was taking off his clothes on stage you were at the back clapping and cheering loud Wanting to get to the front to see what dancing half-naked with a shotgun was all about You would deny that now He said he only likes Daylight in the night club when that sun go down [Verb T] See you guys f**ing love Mark Grist So when he does two on twos with Mixy you have some serious issues Marlo's like 'Well I don't see what Mixy's got that's so great, to be honest with you' Shuffle says 'Yeah I know, I'm taller, I've got better hair, and I'm a higher cla** And if I was Mark's parter we'd get a lot more laughs' Shuffle stays up in the dark, nightly, thinking 'Has Mark seen my battles? Does Mark really like me?' Dude, you said you want Big J's cum in your face so it's not really a surprise To find out that you also want Mark's on your face like an African tribe [Round 3: Marlo/Shuffle-T] [Shuffle-T] Don't get pissed off about the old sh**, I'm just a young'un, Verb Obviously that dinosaur sh** kinda touched a nerve He calls himself The God And he's from the hood [Marlo] Of Slough His knowledge is from the streets, it's not from a book Which is obvious because if you gave it a proper look You'd see you can't be good because The Bible says that God is good And you are not good But I don't believe in God, or the way that religion is forged Don't believe what's in The Bible, the way it's written and forced Everything about God just makes me livid and bored But thank you very f**ing much, for Christmas and war [Marlo] Joker you giant slice of protein and fibre pie You're not holy, divine, or wise You don't glow in a shining light You're not Jehovah and Christ combined Your beard's not grown to a mighty size You're not responsible for 90% of the reasons known for just why we fight And blow up each other when loaded with dynamite And mostly deny the rights of those that The Bible cites as broken and vile inside You're not a joke to a science mind You know what, you're also definitely not the reason why genuinely good people find hope in their times of strife You get on stage wearing stupid beads and don't even try to rhyme You just choke and then cry sometimes And say 'God' more often than Napoleon Dynamite [Shuffle-T] And Kruger says they can see he uses guns as a crutch like Planet Terror I like that, so I thought I'd do one for this ma**ive heffer Since you're always acting like you have a weapon Like you clap Berettas and bang the Tec But you need that novelty in your battle penning Since you only make an impact with the gun punch like Jack from Tekken [Marlo] Be honest, put your hands up if you didn't catch the reference Okay thanks, we had a bet and that's a tenner [Shuffle-T] I can't believe we share the T in our name - you c*nt And how are you a verb? That's a doing word and you don't seem to do much People say Verb's boring, that's hardly true When he's not creating the hardest tunes, he's moving on to pastures new Anything with adrenalin that's getting his heart to boost You know like golf, checkers, arts and crafts with glue And trust me his collection of carpet samples is huge You and Nils M Skils should go and start a group called the 24 hour party crew [Marlo] Yeeeaaaaaahh I'm sick of the doubters Verb isn't a downer He's wild as f** mate he sings in the shower and alphabetises the bookmarks on his internet browser I'll bet that b**hes surround you Rumour has it, when swinging with physical power This limitless kid'll astound you Hitting a sixty in cricket and rounders You throw a party, Verb is bringing the powder But don't get it twisted about It's not for sniffing it down It's just in case he gets an irritable itch in his trousers [Shuffle-T] You guys are boring and quiet at any main event Such genuinely boring and lazy men you probably spend days in bed You're so awkward to talk to you're never making friends You could get laser-lenged, by David Brent [Marlo] That's also ironic you see Because you two comical freaks Respectfully podgy and weedy Look like Brent and Dock on Equality Street If their ethnic origins swapped in their sleep [Shuffle-T] YOUR VOLUME OF SPEECH Is a real problem you have when you're rapping your writtens First you start, real quiet, like a rat in the kitchen THEN GET LOUDER AND ANGRIER WITH IT EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE FACING THE CROWD AND NOT ACTUALLY ATTACKING your victim You can never keep it averagely balanced and that is a problem you have with your spitting In fact, battling him is like standing and listening to a rollercoaster from an absolutely static position (Demonstration from Shuffle-T) You can tell that he's practically wishing that Smack'll be sitting across the Atlantic division with his laptop clapping and grinning [Marlo] He actively wishes he was in the Ultimate Rapping League so f**ing badly He told them he'd gladly Fold [?]'s jeans, all of his damp sheets, til they afford him a clash with the who*es with the panties, with the boards that announce the order the rounds be In the morning time bro When your alarm goes It's Don De Marco [Marlo] See, whenever you're battling now In the middle of rapping a round You drop a gun rhyme puncline and act like you're proud Looking back at the crowd Calm, collected, half expecting a klaxon to sound (Shuffle-T plays radio mash-up klaxon sound) Now to finish this, we thought (Shuffle-T plays radio mash-up klaxon sound incessantly) f** it, time [Round 3: Joker Starr/Verb T] [Verb T] See you guys do some really f**ing sh** sketch comedy They've got this one called 'Brian the Business Consultant' It's kind of stupid really It's about a guy that's trying to help a firm and to prove his theories he draws big pictures of co*ks Wow, how have Channel 4 not given you a series? Now I can already hear these geeks Like 'No Verb that's an unfair critique I mean you're missing all the subtext, you can't tell us that the acting isn't seemless And I think you're quite misunderstanding the symbolism of the penis No mate, you're misunderstanding the symbolism of the penis I'm right, and you're not You just made a stupid f**ing sketch about a man that draws co*ks [Joker Starr] You guys got jokes and bars spitting these guys' rounds Call me sir, cos both you dudes is clowns We Hip Hop masters, the gulf between us - wide when we doing spoken word Shuffle-T off, can't swing with the masters with technique so superb Marlo, a b**h, a bird - he bogey with the rhymes when it comes to bars He'd rather bunk-Eurgh 'cos the gulf between us is showing him to be under par Golf bars While you two practicing your bro-mancing, you hold hands-n My plan is to go for a stroll with your wifey through one of the finest hoods And my plan is to pipe her good f** that p**y like an old b**h And she come running back to you young boys like a good cougar rightly should 'Cos me and Verb T off in that p**y raw Just like a lion would Me and Verb T came, and we put a hole in one when we gave that Tiger Woods [Verb T] Wait, wait, wait, wait You don't like people talking about your girl Shuffle Well picture me every f**ing your girl from behind with my hand over her mouth, now she's screaming every word muffled She loved it, she wanted me and Joker to take it in turns So we did, we were disgracing your bird I had your chick screaming real loud in my face as I burst And your girl is a fantastic wordsmith, 'cos she really loves playing with Verbs See, do you understand we got your chick, we got the train working I'm not the range person, I'm in your head like a brain surgeon The cat that chased vermin, your ideas are not novel but I've got everyone turning to the next chapter I'll slap your face first and have your shapes swerving like some sort of bait serpent Leave you in a fiery lake burning when a face emerges out the flames just wondering what you're up to I said, you're dead, hell's waiting so tell Satan I said 'f** you' [Joker Starr] Mad bars put you boys on the map Wack bars made your views go for the moon and clouds Bad bars, wack bars, views for the moon and clouds Makes sense why your Youtube views have gone all lunar no I saw you at Verdict telling Soweto Kinch your rounds Like 'Yeah man, these are my best bars yet' No jokes involved You wanna go bar for bar with me boy, I'll train you like bars are like training balls [Verb T] Yesterday I was watching Shuffle-T versus Soweto Kinch, man your bars were raw You said he was as old... as a dinosaur I mean with that line you totally slayed him You said he was as old as something that's been dead a million years - that's amazing Although watching that, the experience was spiritual I have a problem with the fact that you have a problem with people using the word 'lyrical' I mean are you f**ing kidding me, I'm a rapper that's over thirty - I'll have to do sh** "lyrically" So you'll get lyrically hit with my lyrical fist I'll ramp your lyrical b**h, she'll s** my lyrical dick I'll do some lyrical that, I'll do some lyrical this I'll jump all over your sofa then take a lyrical sh** This is lyrical bars right here See, watch how I'm leaving you lyrically all dead I've got a great big lyrical nuclear warhead I've got a lyrical jacket, shoes and lyrical pants Do I want to actually do it? No, just lyrically thanks See, Shuffle's like 'You can't say lyrically that, that makes you lyrically wack' Well who the f** are you to tell anyone how to rap 'cos you're a lyrical twat LYRICAL