Howard Melworm, you tried so hard to get your start In the literary world but you couldn't make a mark All the people weren't prepared for what you had to say All the people were ba*tards anyway! Howard Melworm, a modern day ibsen Howard Melworm, so full of conviction Howard Melworm, if you knew what you mean to me Howard Melworm, all your blues would be history Howard Melworm, a man with nerves of steel Marginal relevance and reluctant s** appeal Dedications to intellectual betters And casual acceptance of rejection letters Howard Melworm Howard Melworm Howard Melworm