There are pills that make you happy. There are pills that make you blue. There are pills to k** our streptococci. There are pills to cure your co*keye too. There are folks whose pills have made them healthy. There are folks whose pills have cure their chills. But the folks whose plls have made them wealthy Are the folks who make all the pills. (There are) Dexerine and Miltown, to pick you up and let you down. (Happy) Or if you're sufferin', swallow a Bufferin. (Pills) Vitamin see's a pill for folks who shiver. (Sad) And there's a pill for Carter's little liver. (Pills) And if you're sleepng in the hospital, because you're ill, (Pills) Betcha the nurse will wake you up to take a sleeping pill. There are pills for young folks and for old folks, Each disease has got its remedy. But no pill can cure the common cold, folks, So if you sneeze, please don't sneeze on me. Achoo! Gesundheit.