Sherman Allan - It's A Most Unusual Play lyrics

It's a most unusual play Feel like throwing my tickets away, 'Cause the boy gets the boy And the girl gets the girl And it's way too far off Broadway It's a most unusual plot Which I've either blocked out or forgot I don't know what it means But they all wear blue jeans And they scratch themselves quite a lot There's no scenery, there's no lighting, There's no costumes, oh, what art! If there only were no house lights, I would sneak up the aisle and depart There's a most unusual scene Where this man dates this Xerox machine, So his girlfriend gets mad And she murders the cad To the tune of "Begin the Beguine" In this most unusual, most unusual, most unusual play Oh, the language is a bit loose It's decidedly not Mother Goose Outside on the marquee This quotation you'll see "I was shocked!" and it's signed Lenny Bruce It's a play where something went wrong 'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long If you sit there, my friend, From beginning to end Then your bladder better be strong There are people hitting people There's a couple in a cage There's neurotics, there's narcotics, And the bathroom is right on the stage! It's a great big critical smash, And it's raking in all kinds of cash But the theater's appalling With things that are crawling I think I am getting a rash From this most unusual, most unusual, most unusual play