Shel Silverstein - Father of a Boy Named Sue lyrics

(Okay now years ago I wrote a song called A Boy Named Sue and that was okay And everything except then I started to think about it and I thought It is unfair I am looking at the whole thing from the poor kid's point of view And as I get more older and more fatherly I begin to look at things from an old man's point of view So I decided to give the old man equal time okay here we go) Yeah I lef' home when the kid was three and it sure felt good to be fancy free Tho I knew it wasn't quite the fatherly thing to do But that kid kept screamin' and throwin' up and pissin' in his pants til I had enough So just for revenge I went and named him Sue Yeah it was Gatlinberg in mid July I was gettin' drunk but gettin' by Gettin' old and goin' from bad to worse When thru the door with an awful scream comes the ugliest queen I've ever seen He says my name is Sue how do you do then he hits me with his purse Now this ain't the way he tells the tale but he scratched my face with his fingernails And then he bit my thumb and kicked me with his high-heeled shoe So I hit him in the nose and he started to cry and he threw some perfume in my eye And it sure ain't easy fightin' with a boy named Sue So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chair And he screamed hey dad you mussed my hair And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint He was spittin' blood I was spittin' teeth And we crashed through the wall and out into the street A kickin and gougin' in the mud and the blood and the creme de menth Then out of his garter he pulls a gun I'm about to get shot by my very own son He's screamin' bout Sigmond Freud and lookin' grim uh So I thought fast and I told him some stuff How I named him Sue just to make him tough And I guess he bought it 'cause now I'm livin' with him Yeah he cooks and sews and cleans up the place he cuts my hair and shaves my face And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do And on the nights that I can't score well I can't tell you anymore Sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue yeah a son is fun But it's a joy to have a boy named Sue