Sh-K-Boom Records - The Baseball Game lyrics

MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA We're sitting And watching Jason play baseball We're watching Jason play baseball! We're watching Jewish boys Who cannot play baseball, play baseball! We're watching Jewish boys Who cannot play baseball play- MARVIN I hate baseball, I really do! Unlike the rest of you I hate baseball! CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA We really wish he'd take this more seriously! MENDEL It's weird how he swings the bat! MARVIN It's weird how he swings the bat And why does he have to throw like that? MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA We're sitting And watching Jason make errors The most pathetical errors! We're watching Jewish boys Who almost read Latin Up, battin' And battin' bad! MENDEL Remember Sandy Koufax! You can do it if you wanna do it! Take heart from Hank Greenberg! It's not genetic Even you can be copasetic! I think, I think I think you can, I think you can! MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA We're sitting And watching Jason play baseball We're watching Jason play baseball! We're watching Jewish boys We're watching Jewish boys We're watching- Slide, Jason Slide, Jason! Slide! (Whizzer enters) MARVIN What is he doing here? TRINA What are you doing here? WHIZZER Jason asked me to come Since he asked me to come, I came TRINA Just what I wanted at a Little League game My ex-husband's ex-lover! Isn't that what every mother dreams about Having at a Little League game? MENDEL Looking at Whizzer is like eating trayf CORDELIA The kid was out! CHARLOTTE The kid was safe! CORDELIA The kid was out! CHARLOTTE The kid was safe! WHIZZER Hey! I love baseball I love Jason That's what I'm doing here CHARLOTTE Aw, where the hell did they get that umpire?! MARVIN Look who's here Say hello WHIZZER Hello MARVIN You're looking sweeter than a donut WHIZZER Marvin MARVIN Whizzer WHIZZER He's still queer? MARVIN Am I queer? TRINA I don't know! MENDEL Does it matter? MARVIN It's been so long since I could tell Sit in front of me I wanna see the bald spot! C'mon, c'mon Move in front of me It gives me pleasure to see the bald spot! Since it's the only Physical imperfection that you've got I wanna see it! I wanna touch it! I wanna run my hands through it! WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA We're sitting And watch the kid as he misses! We're watching Marvin throw kisses We're watching sixty-seven pounders Watching Jewish boys in scroungers MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA Watching boys feel, boys bat Boys miss, boys at- Watching Jason on deck Swinging the bat! WHIZZER Hey, Jason JASON Oh, hi Whizzer. Glad you came! WHIZZER Keep your head in the box Don't think of a thing Keep your head in the box Your eye on the ball Take a breath, then let it out And swing! MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA Keep your head in the box Don't think of a thing Keep your head in the box Your eye on the ball Take a breath, then let it out And swing! WHIZZER Okay, go get 'em! MARVIN Even bald, he looks good WHIZZER Just remember he's psychotic MARVIN He looks damn good, but he's cheap as dirt MARVIN Even maniacs can charm Which he does, so beware MARVIN And just be careful WHIZZER When he smiles that smile, avoid him Or else sound the alert! MARVIN Whizzer? WHIZZER Marvin? MARVIN Think there's any hope for the kid? WHIZZER I love Jason, but this is not his venue MARVIN AND WHIZZER How could I know, without him My life would be boring as sh**? MARVIN But it is WHIZZER Jason! You gotta move a little closer to the plate! MARVIN Oh, yes, it is- He's gonna be hit by the ball! MARVIN AND WHIZZER Please, God, don't let me make the same mistake! MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA We're sitting And watching Jason, the batter! We know our cheering won't matter! It is the very final inning And the other team is winning And there's two outs, two strikes But the bases are loaded and- MARVIN Could it be possible to see you, or to kiss you Or to give you a call? WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA Anything's possible MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA Jason Hit the ball! Run!