Seymour Butts - Dis Freestyle lyrics

I'm walking out like CM Punk did in the WWE I promise you've never met someone as repugnant as me There's no substitute for me cause I bring double the trouble as thee I'm a bugaboo speaking in Umbundu Battling me's less useful than running from a panda up rungs of bamboo My flows are so hot that I literally cummed on you Raps so complex that they must be dumbed down for you I'm turning more gays off to men than a h*mophobe menstruating "I'm on a h*mo's phone instigating the president of the United States Aiding in the over-the-phone investigation to have him arrested" I'm tested often, but if anyone thinks my chest's softened I'll be the nail on that pest's coffin I get a similar reaction to Alyssa Milano's feeding with her breasts, scoffing Let's see how they like it when I jack off, then I got thrown in jail and I shared a cell with Pee-Wee Herman But I think they should've called him Wee-Wee Herman William Tecumseh Sherman speaking German Because I have more wrath in me than the Civil and the second World War I got so many points that I broke the scoreboard Such a strong foot, I fell threw the floorboard Founder of a rap town, a merrier land than the state with the Delmarva Shorebirds I'm in a brothel feeding a who*e turds Hiding from me isn't cowardice, it's f**ing safekeeping I wrote this rhyme while I was sleeping And I still have you lying on the ground weeping I have you praying so hard get away from me That hydrochloric will be euphoric I'm literally worse for you than f**ing acid, I'm so rhetoric All it takes is a clutch on my nuts and I'm already a rapper This rhyme is more of a face-slapper than if Bieber got in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame His music comes straight from the crapper, honoring such a co*k, oh the shame I'm a lyricism kidnapper, I'm here to steal your talk and your fame I'll leave your face in more flames than DJ Enferno's last name Your acclaim wouldn't be older if you went to a ballgame to see Joe DiMaggio I'm nuttier than a pistachio I'll do the adagio on your patio and tear off your mustachio Your lyrics come straight from the john like you're Cash, you know My sh** list is too long so I ought to boil it You're wack enough to be like Elvis and get left dead on the toilet Tonight I'm sneaking into your house and robbing you But I'm not Dick Grayson Hell-raising with Jason S**sel, dropping anvils on damsels You'll ramble on like Led Zeppelin, but your raps are still insubstantial I'm to rap what Peter is to flannels, but I don't care for the show you're putting on And I'm changing the goddamn channel My penis is ample, at least two handfuls I'm unbreakable, if you baroque me, I'd be Handel I'll walk on the runway in sandals, I'm still fashionable Weed laced with acetyl, my flows are too tactical To be actable, but at the very least they should be taxable My flows have enough horsepower to lariat a chariot through the Mariott You're desperate enough to beat me to use a Hail Mary shot My rap status is equivalent to the rock status that Chuck Berry's got You have to put up a fight, it's go or die You need a stroker for your limp dong? I "Noah" guy You stinking jabroni, call yourself Graham Bell, cause you're phony God, that pun was cheesier than Kraft macaroni My flows will leave you more bony Than a lonely brony having a wet dream about a prostitute pony Yo, I hand you a copy of The Lorena Bobbit Story cause I'm cutting you dicks in half You came and tried to rob this glory, and now I'm gonna mix and mash You up in little pieces and make you eat each other's feces Sew your lips to your bu*t-holes, like the f**ing Human Centipede, sheesh Put Kayla in the blend, and you could s** her a** for real this time Again with that joke, man, I can be a real pain in the behind But that won't stop me from picking Jerry Seinfeld's a** up in throwing him in a beehive And a crowd'll start to gather 'round and I'll be like, "This is something you wanna see? Why? This is literally a show about nothing, bro," evil is how I'm designed Rap'll shrivel up and die and go to hell the day that I decide to resign But a dis from me'll leave your face redder than the color of Kayla's hair Now, if you'd please excuse me, I've got another s** my a** pun that I'd like to share Nah, I'm kidding, but I'll hunt your lying a** down like Troy and Brent Like Oliver looking hungrily in Piper's cage, know to never repent More travels than Gulliver, and you still question how my spare-time is spent And I wouldn't spare a dime for pieces of human sh** out there that knock it to me f** respect, Aretha Franklin, cause these bozos out here sock it to me But sheepherders are flocking to me, everybody listens to Trey My rhymes are for the dark and gloomy day where everything in your room looks gray Man, Colin Mochrie is being featured here, yo, dawg, just say what the hell you wanna say Oh, sh**, but you want me to talk? Whose line is it anyway? Heh I want to take it back to the days of old when the yellowest thing I encountered Was Allen when he bleached his hair blonde with some peroxide, over-the-counter But now you pansies wanna mess with me cause you don't wanna confess that, "Gee This guy's like the king of hip-hop and he could easily render me Into a pile of horsesh** like if Mr. Ed accidentally Loss control of his bowels", I'm the master of these vowels Consonants, adverbs, metaphors, and my rhyme schemes are foul I'm capable of busting a rhyme that's so rad and goddamn wet that you'll need a f**ing towel