Seth Sentry - Closer lyrics

[Verse 1: Seth Sentry] Yo At all times now I hear the darkness calling Yeah it's closer than it was and I just can't ignore it So this is paranoia Where every finger's pointed Where everything looks haunted Yeah so this is madness for ya Is crazy something a man is born with? Or just some marijuana or the acid talkin' Or the alcoholic in me, sh** I wish I had the answers for 'em But all I know is that it has it's claws in, and I just can't avoid it Now every shadow is a tar pit boiling over, it's so close I feel my back is cornered And if I had a small wish, I wish I hadda fought it But now it's too late, cause everything's too damn distorted Yeah, man I wish I knew what started all this I need some help and sure I can't afford it Nah f** your help I need a lighter now to spark the joint, because I'm fading away to the same place that Drapht was falling Seth is gone, d**h is storm, this the calm before it I'm just trying to summon the courage to bite the bullet (Do it) The walls are talking, I swear to god this apartment's haunted Could all this be paranormal? (Nah this is madness for you) And so it goes without saying this is my last recording Cause if you're hearing this now it means I must have done it First off I really need to tell you just how much I'm sorry I know that the news of my d**h was gruesome and hard to stomach I'm sorry too for those who end up in the bathroom scrubbing up the mess I guess I was clumsy, this sh** was far too bloody Plus the blade it was blunt and it couldn't cut me properly I was in such a hurry it's close and I can't outrun it Goodbye [Verse 2: 360] Uh Ever since a kid I felt this way The black sheep, I can never rid myself of hate And some will say it's a mental disease Well I just pray that I can make it to the end of the week It's like I'll only find happiness when dead or asleep They say in time it'll get better for me, but it forever repeats It's like I'm on the search to find my inner peace And the fact I know it's never there is k**ing me Cause I'll be honest I'm trying to make it work It's all I can think about but it's likely to make it worse and it hurts Am I positive, no, I just wanted to go It's like I'm trapped in my mind and I'm not letting go They try to help me but I won't let 'em touch me Until you've been in my shoes don't ever judge me The only thing that ever seems to excite me is the thought of me leaving this life It's the demon inside me, it screams to release and it needs to be leaving I make myself bleed just to see him Don't be scared it doesn't hurt while I bleed I live in hell, if you go and search you'll find me I don't think this world and this earth's what I need And I don't think this place is for a person like me Is that really such a bad thing? And people always point fingers but really don't understand him I need to chill I wanna leave here, serious, I'm being real I don't wanna be here Period Hey yo f** it my life's hell I hate it 99% of my life's dealt with anger See I just wanna get a shotty, go and end it properly Doing everybody and myself a favour And they say that your life's what you make it I didn't ask for my own life, but I'll take it