(spoken) Oscar: Who goes there? Johnny: You'll like this. (sung) Johnny: Old Nasty Dan was the meanest man I ever knew He'd stomp and scream and be real mean the whole day through (Oscar: Yeah?) He'd frown a bunch He ate nails for lunch And he'd never laugh (Oscar: Wow! I'd like him!) He'd growl and yell and I heard tell he never took a bath (Oscar: Wow.) Nasty Dan (Oscar: Nasty Dan?) Was a nasty man! (Oscar: Yeah?) Hard to understand that Nasty Dan (Oscar: Hmm.) Now Nasty Dan was a nasty man the whole day long (Oscar: Good for him!) He'd go where he could and he'd try real good to make things go wrong (Oscar: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.) He'd jump for joy when a little boy would trip and fall (Oscar: Really mean.) And the only words that he ever said were "I don't like you at all." (Oscar: Yeah, right on!) Nasty Dan (Oscar: Yeah.) Was a nasty man (Oscar: Heh, heh, heh.) Hard to understand that Nasty Dan (spoken) Johnny: Now here's the best part, it's about a girl named Nasty Pearl. Oscar: Oh, she sounds okay too! (sung) Nasty Pearl was a nasty girl who met Dan somehow She said, "You're like me, rotten as can be, let's get married now." So they went and they did and had a nasty kid and I must confess That Dan pretty much leaves everybody alone now And he doesn't bother anybody anymore 'Cause he just lives in his nasty old house With his nasty old wife (Oscar: Yeah?) And his nasty kid (Oscar: Yeah?) In nasty happiness! (Oscar: Far out!) Nasty Dan He's a happy man! (Oscar: Yeah.) Hard to understand that Nasty Dan (spoken) Oscar: Wow, that was really great. Johnny: You like that? Oscar: And say, aren't you Johnny Trash? Johnny: Cash. Oscar: Cash, Cash. Johnny: Have a rotten day. Oscar: Wow, there goes my kind of guy.