If you wake up in the morning mean and grumpy And you frown at ev'rybody that you see If you like your oatmeal nice and cold and lumpy Then you're a grouch like me If you love it when it's wet and cold and raining And the music that you like is all off key If you're happiest whenever you're complaining Then you're a grouch like me If you hate it when your grandma kisses you You know what? Well me, too! If you love to see a garbage truck roll by You know what? So do I! And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty And that ice cream is yucchy as can be If you can't stand a cuddly little kitty, then you're a grouch like me If you hate it when your grandma kisses you You know what? Well me, too! If you love to see a garbage truck roll by You know what? So do I! And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty And that ice cream is yucchy as can be If you can't stand a cuddly little kitty And you'd like to chase her up the nearest tree Then you can be pretty sure that you're a grouch like me