Seamus Moore - The Transit Van lyrics

[Verse 1] Margaret Thatcher talking on TV Looks so sincere as she says to me: "There'd be no unemployment if You all used a bit of initiative." [Chorus] I was on the Dole, I was broke and bored Says, "Aye, I'll take her at her word!" Got a loan from a Credit Union man And bought myself a Transit Van [Verse 2] Next step up the ladder now I bought myself an old, fat sow Crossed the border quite legally Collected a common market subsidy [Chorus] Signed all the forms, and gave back the pen Smuggled the sow back home again Ten times a day, I'd work this plan Myself and the sow and the Transit Van [Verse 3] Travel sickness, the sow picked up Says, "Aye it's time to diversify" Took all my money from the biscuit tin Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin [Chorus] Around the south, my wares I'd sell In public houses and hotels There was never a guard, nor a customs man Put his nose inside the Transit Van [Verse 4] At festivals and fleadhs and fairs If the craic was good, you'd find me there At all big matches in Croke Park And I danced with Springsteen in the dark [Chorus] I fought with the tinkers in Ballinasloe I danced on streets around Listowell Mothers had their daughters warned Stay well away from the Transit Van [Verse 5] It being Lent and the drink trade low I changed to carrying video While on the road to Ballybay Found a customs roadblock in my way [Chorus] Faced the border, I got her turned The engine roared and the tyres burned Five patrol cars fully-manned Were in hot pursuit of the Transit Van [Verse 6] Through Clontibret I did go I was heading for the County Mayo Round the corner I hit a dog Went over the ditch landed in the bog [Chorus] I sat on a bank, watched all I owned Sinking in a bog hole like a stone She was lying on the roof with the wheels still turning And the stereo playing Daniel O'Donnell [Verse 7] Now I'm back where I first began No job, no money, but I've a plan There's a girl down in Mullingar She can hold me future in her hand [Chorus] She doesn't look like a film star But she's been telling me about her dad He has no property or land But he has two sows and a Transit Van [Verse 8] The Queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car Her son Charley has a Jaguar But when the Pope came to Ireland... Like myself He drove around in a Transit Van!