Sea Ba** - SeaBa** - 2-Chz #3 lyrics

------------------ Round 1 - Seaba** ------------------ Me and this guy have had beef like stroganoff Last time he said he's the only one who can beat himself Sounds like you've been strokin off But for real, beef like this is rare That's why i'm only a little heated And since it's your birthday I might let you win You look like you really need it Speaking of looks, let's just get this out of the way I know you want me to mention your condition Say something like: "my superior force caused half of his face to yield into submission" Or something stupid like "two cheese is two faced" And then you'll tie it in to your rebu*tal like "I'm not tripping like a shoelace" So nah, nah I'm standing here in reverence So I tossed out my Harvey Dent line that was too obvious reference I thought about it and said no, jokes like those I'll knock it off Because words like those can hurt and you can't just comp it off So I'll just stick to the facts, I got more bars than second street This is our 3rd battle our last was our 2nd meet The order I eat my food in is first salad, second meat After that is dessert, I put a cherry on top You're getting kind of up there don't carry on, stop You're more outdated than aol And after our last battle most ppl would say “oh well” You've peaked, it's hard to grow when you're 6'4 Your ego is bruised I can tell that it's sore I mean, the only thing thinner than your body is your hairline You wrote your raps for months I wrote mine in my spare time *but I did write you a song, it goes: Twinkle twinkle little star You look like Mr. Hinkle, after too many drinks at the bar You're too tispy to stand straight You talk all this sh** about wine at work Come home and eat some canned grapes This battles been too much of a damn wait But tonight is the planned date And you're the one paying for it Shout out to all the people here for staying for it When this is all over I'll go home, have breakfast in bed Flapjacks in my napsack You'll wake up and your loss is still there Like sh**, that was not a snapchat ------------------ Round 1 - 2-Chz ------------------ Before we get started, I think you're retarded We'll be all up in da club, "Yo, where's Seaba**?" Still in line getting carded Think you're the best? You're dreaming I'm 'bout to put that idea to rest While I'm sleeping Hug your bear, say a prayer, close your eyes, no peeping Cause it's time for you to retire No really, you should just retire I rock it til the wheels fall off, time for me to re-tire I wrote these lines inspired No, really, I wrote these lines in Spires I had a side of onion rings, I'm like: You're just tinder for my super hot fire That's forshadowing For now I'll just sip on tawny, 10yr I'll school you forever, that could be my tenure I don't buy your ideas, they ain't legal tender If you had a girl, I tend to her Give her the tender loving care that was meant for her You see... I was meant for hair You should dread me, I'm about to lay it down Like Caesar I'm bald, my crew has the crown You didn't make the cut, I got this on Locke, so Let me give you some guidelines on how to take it off the top Your girl was dying to comb over. She wanted to bang She had been on the fringe since graduation And she wanted to catch a fade We burned a bowl and got buzzed, She was high and tight I taper when I layer, that part was the highlight This guy is going to make fun of my face, talk sh** on my car That was 24 cosmological references in 16 bars And now... A word from our sponsor: Through a special order from the king The accord royal was signed by Louie 15 Oh, it's just splendid Aged , blended, complex, intense, and smells of wonderful things. When I'm not drinking Martin Ray Im drinking remy Martin 1738 Mmmmmm, this stuff is great Special shout out to the homie, Blake ------------------ Round 2- Seaba** ------------------ I heard everything you just said And you don't have any comebacks But im gonna cut you some slack Because you're just some slack Wearing a nice shirt and some slacks [bags under your eyes look like slum sacks] Battling someone sharper than a thumb tack I think it's dumb that You even beat skyler I'm not sure how you actually won that You couldn't beat me if I was black and you were police So please, time to give up and get down on yo knees Ill bout to make him gag like when I drink a guiness stout Theres no way in the world you can win this bout I beat you at work now I'm bout to beat you in this house Which, by the way, it's really quite nice But I brought the heat you can't handle, that is not the right spice I got him scared, he's like a little kid without his night light He's shaking, he's like the camera man from the blair witch project I know you're a busy guy so why don't you share which project Kept you from preparing this time, was it more long work days? Man I'm sorry for your loss, I know it must have been one of your worst days But that's just how it is when you choose to battle seaba** And come at me with punchlines that are just a bunch of cheap laughs Ill hit you in the face, Ill hit you in the kneecaps Your best punchlines get a chuckle or a short laugh Mine leave you roasted and salty like some pork fat You dum twat, idk what you dun thought Ill leave him layed out on the floor in some spot He'll get fired on by me and my coffee cup, that's a mug shot Right here is a picture of that coffee cup, that's it's mug shot Right after that is a picture of the bullet it fired, that's a mug shot of what my mug shot Now I was printing out something else, and f**ed up and accidentally printed a picture of a cumquat But if you really think about it, that's some food for some thought/thot You can keep those they're covered in my dogs pug snot And sorry about the cum spots ------------------ Round 2 - 2-Chz ------------------ Let's make some noise!! Why'd you go to south-east Asia on vacation? For the ladyboys! I said, what?! Uhhh... For the ladies, boy! This guy is high maybe living pipe dreams Maybe he imagined a magical place where a man could just walk up and feel-a- peeens He drank a bottle of highland Woke up with a s** change in Thailand Bleached tips, implanted tits New bu*t lips for a new smile Ya, looks like he spent the whole time just watching 8-mile For those who didn't know He started rapping cause he heard that one day he could have "Heavy flow" Tampons in the bathroom Bottom drawer Replaced his tighty whities for panties Ask him where he wants to do tonight he's like "I want to feel trannies" I said "What?! SeaBa** that's twice!" He says "Nah Dawg, Nah Dawg" Phil Trannies the restaurant, I hear that place is nice So I had to address this He's dressing in dresses Redresses, regresses He cries and regrets this Look, he's mad now, he's furious He wants to know if I can leave He's bi curious! So much to make fun of I had to right a checklist Look! He even turned a rap battle coin into a necklace Here's some fast and furious action My wheels spinning so fast it's hard to catch traction Like my heart beating, the art of beating, an involuntary action You see, I don't need a reaction because I'm beside myself I'm a hit, you're a b-side , besides, you can be sided with him when you decide, this guy he already tried and this is his re-try Now that 1st round is a distant memory I have to wake up and erase it every morning Like it's my search history This sh**s tough, life is hard. Sounds like You're having a bad experience, here's a $50 gift card You lost your groove, like a nightmare on wax 2-Chz more like 2 trains here to stop you in your tracks ------------------ Round 3 - SeaBa** ------------------ The more you rap you look dum and dumber Thats a seaba** pun Anyone watching the last battles will say that seaba** won You're about to drop dead like a bee that's stung And the victor against me you could never be that one Kevin you're in your thirties but after this you'll be eight-y six The thought of me, makes his stomach hurt...like a bunch of baby kicks Speaking of numbers, good job on the sponsor, he got us 1738 Without a few shots of this he's more awkward than a nerdy date SPEAKING of numbers, happy birthday you're 34 I would mop the ground with your face And it would still be a dirty floor Instead i'm pourin up, I've got a bottle of veuve cliquot And your style reminds me of a little river You have a weak flow I've taken your coin, your title, everything Except your position as manager But between the two of us you're the amateur I'm the damager you're the damaged, like a ups package I think you're lost you need an atlas You can't handle this all at once better grab a bussing tray You can't handle my...nahh I was about to say something gay Lyrics so cold like an I-cee bath, if you really pay attention you might-see that I, seaba** might not win... No that last statement, I retract Cuz honestly, your best insults don't even bother me You eat good at work and then you grocery shop at dollar tree You're called two cheese because you couldn't afford the third one Everything i've heard you say is just absurd son Look at you, I see him all the time at work with his jacket, shir,t tie Call him jacket shirt tie man I was just in the philippines but I am not a thai man Next summer I will go to Thailand Next time you order a bowl of soup I hope inside the bowl is where a fly land I meant that too, because no joke, i've been serious this whole time I brought no jokes Because if I did unlike your hair they'd just go over your head You slowpoke [do a slow poke] That was a slowpoke You're like an amaratto co*ktail all white and no yolk Now I knew you wouldn't bring any gun bars Last gun was on his phone, it was an emoji And he's too emotional to be a gangster he's be an emo G And I already had pizza for lunch today but the way i'm cooking him up I guess I could eat mo cheese Sorry, that was more forced than a confession booth with a glory hole And I know my rhymes are gmo, I got that corny flow Yea I said my rhymes are corny like G M O He's stuck in his position, will he ever be the GM NO Two cheese, you should count the blessings when you sneeze This is gonna end just like last time can I finally battle someone new please ------------------ Round 3 - 2-Chz ------------------ After the last round I wanted to change my name to 2-Trains But after this battle I'm going to have 2 Chains It's been s few months, I hate being single Now I got another dick that comes too early I call them both Mr hinckle I congregate at the bar on Sunday I call that Christian mingle I got love on site... I got love on sites. don't hate I told my single friend, I was lovestruck, so we got coffee and bagels on a j-date. We were in harmony and I was going to grinder, cause I thought I met my match. I told myself, ok Cupid, you have chemistry But there's plenty of fish to catch My Facebook gotta new look, My Twitter got big plans I'll spend some face time with your sister Turn your mamma an instagrams Know how I'll Telegrams? tellagrams Think I've clowned him now, just wait. You think my lines are fine and want more cheese, just grate Because Cheese, you know, I grate that Poorly folded napkins hate that... Used to kick you out, now I say "that's a great hat" Shoes so fly, on that wing tip Said some sh**, I was high, I don't mean it Here, give this a try My mom makes a mean dip The thoughts my mind thinks are Methodical You See ba** I have an ocean of jokes but they're just nautical Sea at this level the ocean is below me So you can blow me I'm broke as hell and you're still an easy target Put 1.50 in my tank, we'll see how far my car get My house, that's where your mom goes She likes it rough, smack her like bongos Watch out for that corner guys That's where my bong goes I hate talking ill of you For reals, it pains me I hate making fun of you mom Cause she's really a nice lady Down yo girl til deez hurt Down so low her knees hurt I'll buy her a dessert One she don't deserve I've had my Head shattered, intensive bleeding, arm dangled Compound fracture, my heart stopped beating, I sprained ankle You haven't lived til you've died You need to know your place I can beat you with one hand tied I can beat you with half my face Happy Birthday to DJFoulmouth, it feels like the club Pumping out more bangers than a chef at an Irish pub These s**y girls dancing, got my mind in the gutter, happy November, it's the season, let's make some truffle bu*ter Alright, one more dis and let's get this party popping! Hey Steig. Know why he works at the pizzaria? To me around men who like topping! - Fin -