He's not respected but feared Like a lady with a beard It's been said he's as handsome as a bruise He's the maggot in your bowl and a shovel full of coal The threat of the 6 fingered man About as welcome as cramps He's a primate wearing pants Birds gotta fly Fish gotta fry Lurid, Turgid, Daft, and svelte He's the bugs that crawl beneath your quilt Mystery built the 6 fingered man Don't believe it, don't receive it Don't believe each and every whisper Don't embrace it don't you taste it Try to erase it The house that burns on Christmas eve The fist that dwells beneath the sleeve The s**er punch The nose that bleeds The seeds that feed incessant weeds He's the appendix that burst And the driver of the hearse And it seems he's something less than kind No one can resist the very thing that non-exists The tricks of the 6 fingered man