Scout - To My Future Children lyrics

To my future children, eat your vegetables, cry when you feel like it, don't let another kid not let you were orange because it makes you look fat, look fat if you f**ing want too, fat it a concept not a reality Don't swear, don't swear unless you f**ing have too, Caugh! talk to animals, I will teach you to speak to most birds, dogs, cats, and some rodents and reptiles the rest we can figure out together Train your Pokemon well, have a well balanced team that will teach you to be well balanced in life, do gymnastics that helps with balance too, eat your steak, you cab become a vegetarian if you want to, but ill keep telling you steak is a vegetable because it is, think about it its like 99% gra** Color outside the lines and use the wrong colors, brown teddy bears are so 1980's, learn how to learn, don't learn the right answers, I wish I wrote this poem in pump kinder garden, read books and play video games, they both teach you valuable things in life you will not get anywhere else, like how to conjure a helicopter out of mid-air Don't be afraid to start to miss being a kid, I started missing that when I was 10 and I still miss it at 21, don't be afraid to hit back the consequences of a bureaucratic school system are nothing compared to the consequences of not learning how to a**ert no as early as possible, your first word will be no, beg me for a dog, even if we already have 5, because ill say no and you will need to learn how to take no for an answer, plead, stomp your feet, get angry, because learning how to say no and take no for an answer will be the two best things I can teach you in life don't be ashamed of who you are, never buy vogue, people, or channel magazines, these are the only things I may disown you for, hug me, don't be afraid to ask for love even if you feel like your too cool to want it, hug me when your 4 hug me when your 17 hug me when your 22 hug me when you feel like you don't love me anymore, because I know I don't know you yet but I know ill love you forever, which is longer then ill be around for Never bleach your hair with actual bleach, never throw away your childhood toys they may all you have when your 16 and suddenly your best friend ditched you for the cool kids, be a cool kid, be popular, and bring everyone else up to your level, believe in yourself and everyone around you, never ever, ever think your stupid, never let anyone tell you your stupid, never believe the people that say you are stupid, you are only a single celled egg living in my or somebody else's ovaries, right now, but you are f**ing brilliant, Don't be afraid to cry infront of me, I will try my best to be brave enough to cry infront of you, Eat your f**ing vegetables, except for Brussels sprouts, Broccoli taste better if you steam it, don't be a jerk, don't be afraid to hold a grudge, but don't careless to solve it, love your friends love your enemies, love anyone who you set your eyes on, fall with your eyes closed, because that's the damn best way to see how truly beautiful someone is, don't have your heart broken, have it smashed, have it destroyed, your heart should look like a post-apocalyptic landscape at least once in your lifetime, learn from it and remember what I said about grudges Don't be afraid to sing, be afraid of high heels and platform shoes, learn either a instrument, a language, or a trade, or all three, intelligence is way more s**y then knowing how to swagger, never, ever, ever, ever utter the word YOLO in my house, question everything you thought you knew about life regularly, look at motivational pictures, drink to taste, don't do d**... alone eat a pint of ice cream twice a day if you got the money for it, don't be afraid to be poor, but don't be fearless you will always be enough.