Rupert Brown, it's the man behind the face mask Fake moustache, walk in with a fake bus pa** Sneaky ba*tard, elastic plaster on my gla**es Catch me plastered, pissed up chatting backwards In a Ford Sierra, with leopard skin seats My life's like an episode of Twin Peaks I told my girl that beauty is only skin deep Next thing she's asking me, "When am I moving in, please?" That's our Sharon, always 'round for a handy job Ronald the Rottweiler, that's just our family dog But you don't wanna hear the stories that our granny tells She smokes roll ups, (?) when her fanny smells There ain't a day where my whole arse ain't sober You need a ticket just to get on her sofa Life's a struggle and it's only getting harder man You can't walk in her garden through all the lager cans There's always a drink, and it's usually in my fathers hands And he ain't been the same since he left the army, dad He thinks he's Siberian, don't even realize his wife left him for a lesbian liberian It's quite scary at night, my auntie likes to sleepwalk I'm trying to sleep with anything within three doors She comes out shouting "Feed me more!" But I ain't Seymour, I make my door safe with my keyboard My bedroom's just a bunk bed with no springs That falls apart every time my phone rings My stereo chews tapes and gives me feedback I write raps on toilet paper in a Scream mask Yo... You didn't like my sh**, (?) my friend See through the hearts of these men So far forward, the start or the end? Twenty thousand angels guarding my pen I twist your fake screwface back to shape I know it's hard to pretend I drop the bombs like Osama Bin Laden's my friend Swallow your carca** then I gargle with phlegm I'm the reason why they guarding the Thames Sgt. Arm with the hardest armour Every time I step, I'm setting a car alarm off If I'm trapped in barbed wire, I'm trapping my own armour I'm running at motherf**ers with a bomb in my only palm, what? Run across the border like my middle name was Carlos Scaling the feds with many aliens in my skip I can manhandle a bear, strangle you with my bear hands Grab you by your ankles and dangle you in the air, dan Shake your brain out of your nose, and kick it like a football Over your roof, and right over your home On top of that you follow yourself I pull your bottom lip over your head and make you swallow yourself Best know I rep Nottz like NG3 Jobseekers Allowance, on TV You can download Pica**o on your MP3 Or, get it on vinyl on my new EP I'm a walking advert, talking mad words Worse than Rupert Brown in the gym, getting stalked by some fat birds I don't care I swear on or off air My verse k**ed the world cus it made everyone in China jump off chairs I kick the planet with a rugby kick Beating all the whack MCs in public with an extra large ugly stick Mr. Miyagi, doing origami on you I take you out, I don't need to get my army on you For all you talking actors I'll rip your flesh off, so fast I'll leave your whole skeleton walking backwards A true time pirate You can say I'm a star but I'll probably die before the light reaches your eyes' iris