Schizo - Dear God lyrics

(Verse 1:) Dear God I think it's time we have a private talk I need some guidance and some wisdom for this road I walk Im tryna find my way, but tell me, will I make it? Or have I been mistaken? Has my time been wasted? I've been searching for that success I'm tryna be best But nightmares from my past linger in my head And when I'm laying in my bed, you see the tears shed Torn between following dreams, or workin' at an office desk Why you hearin' all the rest, but with me it's always silence? I'm smoking tree, living free, practicing defiance Lately artificial happiness is all that I've been findin' With these girl and d**, I just need a little love (Verse 2:) Not even 12 years old when my dad walked out the door I thought I caused it at the time, but now I'm understanding more A coward a** man is really all that he is I just pray that in the future, I'm better than him Why am I scared of letting go? Why am I scared to lose control? Why does saying goodbye feel like I'm slamming a door? So scared of losing my grip, that I'm losing myself And now I'm coming to you, because I really need help and I don't I don't know what else to do Mama said if I'm in trouble, I should go straight to you But you never reply and I don't understand why It's getting cold in my life, and you're letting it fly! Are these test? Are you a lie? Am I petty? Am I even worth your time? Please send me a sign, thats really all that I need Just the smallest bit of hope to show you care about me I know I'm smaller than the problems that you've got in this world I know there's war, homicide, and things that's wrong in this world But I'm here on my knees, and I'm begging you "PLEASE" Because livin' how I'm livin just don't happen with ease Swear I'd do anything, I'd give you everything Gotta make it in this world, and that's by any means I'm never gonna fall into my enemies shoes I'm just tryna send a message through my music for the youth I'm just spread the truth I swear this rapping's what I do I do it for the fans, not to ride in a coupe Among all of my fears, one is: coming up short And the fact that I can't hear you is just making it worse (Outro:)x2 I get up when I'm down Had enough, almost drowned When sh**'s rough, I get tough And when I'm beaten to the ground, I get up, I get up