I'm sitting on a bus to Hell, and I'm not feeling very well And there's one or two places I know I'd rather be I'm naked to the seat, wrapped up in a blood-stained sheet And there's some kind of naked lunatic next to me Well, that's when I see the "Wolf-man", appearing at the top of the stairs Fiddling around with a ticket machine, and asking if there's any more fares But shrouds don't have any pockets for money, and I don't know what to do 'Cause he don't look the sort who's gonna get caught, accepting an I.O.U. There's a lycanthrope on the bus There's a lycanthrope on the bus There's a lycanthrope on the bus And he's heading for us Big teeth and covered in hair And he's coming to collect my fare And I just hope that I don't have to pay in blood There's a man sitting on the back seat, he's making a bit of a fuss He says, "There's been some kinda mistake, and it could be I'm on the wrong bus" But why did God forsake him, and leave him in the lurch? 'Cause he's a s**ist, racist, h*mophobe who went to the wrong f**ing church There's a lycanthrope on the bus There's a lycanthrope on the bus There's a lycanthrope on the bus And he's heading for us Big teeth and covered in hair And he's coming to collect my fare And I just hope that I don't have to pay in blood And as the bus flies through the night I try to remember how I died And I'm not yet completely in control As the bus conductor says "We don't want your money" Yes, you've guessed it This ba*tard wants my soul He wants my soul He wants my soul He wants my soul He wants my soul And as we reach the gates of Hell, things don't look quite so bad They're playing loud music, I can see Jane Mansfield dancing with my dad They're drinking beer and getting it down, things are working out quite well 'Cause everybody's got their own idea of Heaven, which is someone else's Hell There's a lycanthrope on the bus There's a lycanthrope on the bus There's a lycanthrope on the bus And he's heading for us Big teeth and covered in hair And he's coming to collect my fare But now I know that I don't have to pay in blood And now I know that I don't have to pay in blood And now I know that I don't have to pay in blood