spoken: We do have a song to play now, it's actually a love song which we wrote recently didn't we? Let's hear it again Okay You're always naggin' me to pick up my clothes You make me clean behind my ears, and in between my toes You're on about the toilet seat, and you think my cooking's bland I loved you better when you were a man We met fifteen years ago on the same football team You used to drink Vic Bitter, not Baileys Irish Cream You once rocked with Barnesy, now it's all Kenny G I loved you better when you stood up to pee Technology and silicone have helped you find the truth The hormone treatment's working, and your breasts are living proof Now I call you Doris, I used to call you Dave You're beautiful, though you still shave spoken: Take it, John Rusty That's all I've got Things have changed since you went under the knife You once were my best man, now you're my wife You still can't undo a bra with just one hand I loved you better, when you were a man You used to scratch your testicles, now you keep 'em in a can I loved you better when you were a man spoken: Rusty on the banjo