SB95 - Stillborn lyrics

[Verse One] Dear poppa I really hope you're reading this I never had a chance to sit and write bout all the things I've been feelin since you came down To raise the son you hadnt seen 11 years I have some questions and confessions, maybe tears Always wondered why a n***a livin lavish Would drop everything he had to see a jit who wasn't havin it Waking early on Saturdays just to make me a meal When I would throw all the grits away how did that even feel? Prolly sh**ty I know that I was awful, in hindsight I see you reached out to me When I couldn't be humbled My hubris was overwhelming you showered me in your loaves Myself I began to loathe As we awkwardly hit the road of our relationship We as stable as a pencil tip My heart was callous from the streets I had been witnessin My heart was callous from the streets... n***as had broken into the house and were you there? My bike was stolen then busted to pieces and would you care? Prolly. Scratch all the nonsense You would have deaded the n***a and turned him into a coffin And you know what? I wish I would have known this in those first years Known that everything you gave was love and saved a few tears But now Im older and you're still kickin it with momma Never left us alone and now my struggle is Karma I was ungrateful So why would you buy me sh**? If it was out of guilt and I milked it I wanna die for it Regret is overwhelming the air is a thinning black hole Maybe if I held on a little tighter we'd be whole [Bridge] [Verse 2] Everything is black my eyes are closed nothings intact This pain is fact all is lost hope forlorn no turning back Lets make a pact For every want you have I'll make you double back In submission, lost transmission heartache burning out my vision “Will you listen? You have fallen into this without remission Can you really blame this solely on a hurt you keep forgetting?” Last I checked nobody cared for the rat Only the lion was loved A little saved for the cat This is where I make my stand because when I turned my back I left behind all the baggage that you said you had taken back The love I should have felt walking tall in your false light I feel within the world without it costing a brothers life I bet you're at a total lost for solemn words They claim my soul is gone and dying with the world And with that I feel an absolute peace Because I'd rather burn in hell than say I gave up as fleece [Outro]