Samsa - Cataclysm lyrics

If somehow scientists proclaim they see the apocalypse approaching I would buy a box of tissues, Oculus, and lots of lotion And just lock myself indoors, I'd build a bunker out of blankets, a fallout shelter out of sofa cushions, cook a bunch of pancakes, while I thunk about my grandkids I'd prolly have to forage lunch or have a bran of storage porridge and a can of orange chunks until I reached a shortage, then if I hungered for a banquet I'd make co*ktails, mostly molotov and waltz on over to a wal-mart with my martyr-like martini bombs and wall it off so I could have the whole place to myself I'd stop and start to crop apart the shopping carts and fashion pitchforks from the bars until I felt a sense of self-defense I'd meld a fence around the produce sector and I wouldn't have to spend a cent, I'd set up tents in electronics and wouldn't have to send the rent, Instead of panicking, I'd marshal mannequins, pretend they're friends and host a ma**ive slumber party in the “home and bedding” end cause all I need to be content, is room and board and solid food if I end up the last on Earth, then I'd adore the solitude and I don't mean to sound too rude, I just don't really find it strange that I don't care the way we go, whether it's war or climate change atomic bombs or comet craters, hordes of zombie space invaders, angels singing psalms while Satan's satyrs crack through the equator either way we're gone, and I don't feel the need to lift the rug if I can spend my final moments happy, I don't give a f** I'd do my best to reconstruct tho, if let's say the apocalypse caused major drops in populace and hit New York's metropolis I'd obligate myself to help me congregate the boroughs, add some zeroes to the census bureau's copy room materials, I'd even copulate with girls to help repopulate the world cause that would be my duty maybe I'd do what Jehovah would and go for broke and build an ark of fifty cubits gopherwood but leave the termites out cause surely that would not go over good If I knew the world was ending I'd start texting all my exes and f** ourselves to d**h until Jesus resurrects us and the trumpets say it's judgement day ...and I haven't thought that any further I'm probably f**ed