I've suspected for quite some time That my best friend's a pirate There's little things that make me think he is, but he denies it When I first met him I said "Hi" and he said "Ahoy, yarr" I suspect he's a pirate Then we went to an ATM to get cash out and he called it booty He's a pirate He's got a new mobile phone and the ringtone goes like this Then there was the time he raped and pillaged my entire family But that was unrelated.