Sam Pink - Bernhard Goetz lyrics

START There have been times where I've reached into a bag of trail mix and found only the broken pieces at the bottom and then put my hand over my face and said, “oh my god” real slow. 02 Global warming is good because I like playing outside with my friends. 03 Tucking-in the entire earth by hand would take a really long time and I am so tired I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can do it. 04 When I was in second grade I cried because I was doing a division problem and there was an abnormally large remainder and my teacher leaned over me to help me but I hid my face from her and a really big teardrop fell onto the problem and she wiped it off the page with her hand. For real though—now, I'm really bad-a** at division. 05 End your life in front of someone, repeatedly. And whistle while you work. 06 Little kids are fake. 07 I keep thinking, "oh humans." 08 To make ethyl ether, a dissociative drug, all you have to do is buy a can of “starter fluid” from any car store. Then fill a plastic bottle halfway with water and spray the entire can of starter fluid into the plastic bottle. You'll notice that the fluids separate, leaving two distinct levels of clear liquid. Use a turkey-baster to remove only the top layer. The bottom layer is pure ethyl ether, which can be put on a rag or some paper towels and then into a bag for inhalation. 09 Everyone is nice until you talk to them. 10 Last year I was walking around a forest preserve and I met two crackheads and I stood and talked with them while they smoked crack. They were really nice and funny, and they sort of acted like a comedy duo where one guy is the controlling mean guy and the other guy is the more gullible but also more comically-lovable guy. 11 s “boom-shaka-laka-boom” ever the right way to respond to anything? 12 Using a backpack makes me imagine the backpack opening and scooping me up into it where tubes will feed me and let me sleep. 13 Don't hide your chest with your hands like that what are you doing? 14 There are human lives I don't value at all. 15 While I was getting a shirt out of my closet today, I was such a dick I felt too pissed to unbu*ton it, so I just pulled down on the shirt and the plastic hanger broke. I only have two hangers left now; the others are lost. I haven't thought about it too much but I am pretty sure hangers are dumb. 16 I am going to fall out of my chair now. Ok I just got up. 17 k**ing wet p**y. 18 Everything is going real good, thanks. 19 I make a catheter out of your thin defense. And force it in, happy to still remember how to even spell my name. 20 Dude you can totally tell I'm not going to survive anything. 21 Dude I'm the a**hole running through held hands, dividing people two by two (the only way!). 22 A smiling mouth is a coffin. And there is enough dirt to cover everyone who is living or will ever live. 23 The entire population facedown. 24 I just remembered being in third grade and coming to a new school and mentioning to some kids that I could draw ninja turtles really well. They actually kind-of gasped and then they introduced me to the resident ninja turtle drawer in the cla** and we both sat down, drawing our versions and I was considered the winner. It felt stupid. 25 I can k** everyone by not looking at them. 26 :( 27 The angel gabriel visits me when I'm sleeping and cuts my throat with foil scissors. That is why I am pale all the time. 28 I will never have anything to say again. 29 For real, watch me commit suicide by just not drinking water. 30 My closed-eyes and your face are the same now uh huh. 31 There's a scar on my right arm from when I jumped to do a pull-up in gradeschool and the kid on the bar before me turned as I jumped, running his braces along my arm. It hurt, but I'd rather have that than large pieces of someone's skin in my braces. 32 I don't know what it is, but I get highly agitated when I am sitting somewhere and someone walks behind me. 33 Inhaling rubber cement = rad. 34 I am never comfortable. 35 Today a small kid said, “hey” to me through a fence as I walked by and I said, “hey how are you doing,” and he smiled and for five seconds I did everything right. 36 666 37 How many times have you wanted to drown the person closest to you? Be honest. You think about people drowning. 38 I haven't been sledding in a while but when I turned 12 I knew my life was over but I didn't know why but it was cool but not really but yep. 39 My only belief is that I will be nice to people so they don't hate me. 40 You are a failure if you choose an enemy outside of yourself. 41 I want to confuse a delivery person by ordering groceries on a weekly basis and then using a raspy voice whenever the delivery person arrives. "Slip it beneath the door my child," I'll say, reaching my fingers underneath the door. 42 I like taking walks and I like humans and I like drinking from sprinklers and there are times I like all three at once but I never feel the same way twice. 43 I like to stare at people. 44 I'd like to say, “wuddup” into a sound system that covers the entire world. 45 My dog acts nervous if I accidentally step on his leg when I am not looking and then I apologize to him and hug him for a while because he acts like he did something wrong. 46 I don't know what I am doing but I know I avoid things that will make me happy because those things are the hardest to think about later. 47 When I'm in a good mood, I can't believe how I act when I'm in a bad mood, and when I'm in a bad mood, I can't believe how I act in a good mood. Which means when I feel good, I can't believe how I could hate being that way, and when I'm in a bad mood, I can't believe how I could hate being that way. For some reason I just looked at the wall and I expected it to go, “I know right?” 48 I hate your guts and your bones and all the other stuff too. 49 Begging you to put your toes in my hands. Toes in my hands, my mean face stops. 50 I have mistreated many people. 51 And I mumble. 52 Very hopeless I have ideas that always forget what they're doing. 53 Be a magic person to everyone. 54 “Don't care” (while cleaning your teeth with your tongue) is the only response you need to know. 55 When this mood is over I will act like I am cured and then when the mood returns I'll act confused. 56 Act unselfishly and people still won't like you. Still mistreat you. END Everything is getting shorter and nobody wants to wash my body anymore, not even me. Thanks. Bye.