Sage Francis - Hell Of A Year lyrics

It's been a hell of a year, but I'm mentally prepared To do a dance around the next couple medical scares I'm Fred Astaire with the metal wearing quickly off my tap shoes So I step quietly, the way that cat's move But I'm bear-like. My head trapped in dear lights You can call me John, I'm writing letters to the dark side of the moon tonight My lovely Jane, you went away but the pain stayed So I'm sending you a package to the address where you traded names I made no claims on the identity theft I'm more concerned about the home with no amenities left And it's already a mess. The dust piles like your junk mail So I eat away depression and crush the scale You find yourself on the opposite side of the spectrum Emaciated on a strict diet of bed crumbs Me? I choose to wallow and I'll just swim in my fat You...refuse to swallow so I see ribs from the back This isn't an attack, it's an admission of guilt I'm living in the past, kissing your a**, sipping your milk But it's all bone and curdle. I saw stones in a circle Stood in the middle. Told myself riddles in a robe that's purple The murder weapon was an icicle Is that the reason why I'm standing in this puddle with my eyes so full? I fight feelings like a war on d** I'm a chemist with a test tube addiction born through coffee mugs Our baby now is all growed up Your car is still dead in my driveway while I wait for the tow truck And you know what? I know I drove you away I still don't think it was wrong so I don't know what to say It's been a tough year. You say that life ain't fair Well, guess what, baby...life ain't. Thems the breaks You say that life ain't worth it. But it is. You gotta work it Nobody's life is perfect Yeah, you've been dealt a bad hand. Placed against a stacked deck Been through all the cat scans and bad checks But I slashed your debt. Not your wrists And I couldn't help with anything else that became cancerous Halfway people with a full baby to bury Took a flame to the papier-mache sanctuary When the smoke clears...try not to stare into the light But, also, don't stay in the dark as if that's what life is like It's just a series of unfortunate events But the messages we get are more important than d**h What's the rush? I've got a shortness of breath What's the rush? Running from you...running from me It's the rush. The crush. The lust. The love-trust So what's the trouble? The busted bubble? The unjust? That's just the way the cookie crumbles. It does s** But s** it up. We're all looking, but nothing's enough We used each other as a crutch. The clutch. The shift switches You couldn't just adjust. You combusted and ripped pictures This is why I'm not considered a saint? Well, guess what?......I ain't It's been a hell of a year You said that I ain't there, I ain't care, and life ain't fair It's been a hell of a trip You say my mind's unfit, I've been flip, and I ain't sh** It's been a hell of a life You say that I ain't like the way I write and that ain't right It's been a hell of an attempt You say that I ain't meant for promises unkept Well, guess what, darlin.. I'm a keep keep callin Guess what, darlin.. I'm a keep keep callin