S-Ra - Personal Hell lyrics

[Verse 1] Trying so hard not to cry Trying so hard not to die It makes me strong, makes me alive Having the traditional nine through five I'm going back to my place, for there's too many a face That no one can recognize I'm in my personal hell If you want me, ring the bell Maybe the old man on the river can send me a yell I never imagined I would end up here Stuck on the pier, hanging by a tear I used to go to school with the idea That everyone there would be a leader I was taught many things as a child Most of which was true as my file I was lied to, told that I could never make it Now where am I, I can't even fake it Making it my pride, my purpose to continue and end Next thing you know another challenge around the bend I wrote this, my wound still trying to mend My mental state is in a place that needs defense I never said I was part of the normal society Come down to it, most think that's irony Because no human being would give me privacy I sometimes walk in the rain to get rid of the pain, the main thing that feints me from the drain I go home, barely know my brother The way he acts can make me shudder I'm not a special snowflake, or different like 2 Chainz All I'm trying to say is that it causes me pain And I'm trying to get out, get out of the twirl The swirl that's similar to a whirlwhind Gotta get out, out of this hurricane But my body wants to reform the new shame Can't deal with it, just get me out before I become apesh** insane [Hook] I'm still battling depression, but it's all just part of my collection If you wanna come make a confession, I'm open to all forms of expression This is hell, only for me, and I'm looking out for it personally (2x) [Verse 2] Every day I try to wake And remember why i hate The day before It keeps me up during the night Making me want to see the light But there's nothing I look forward to I would ask for help to get out of this place But out of everyone, there's not a single face I know, galore Maybe it's time to turn the page And ask the world why I'm stuck in this cage No one will help me, no one will care So I vent and rage, help me if you dare Trying not to scream Trying not to dream It makes me weak, makes me cream Having the power to shape my own scene I'm going back to my estate, for there's too many a fate That no one can recognize I'm in my personal hell If you want me, ring the bell Maybe the old man on the river can send me a yell [Hook] I'm still battling depression, but it's all just part of my collection If you wanna come make a confession, I'm open to all forms of expression This is hell, only for me, and I'm looking out for it personally (2x)