No prize for congeniality Never knew popularity The ugly stick had wished To one day become a swan Always picked last for sports teams Got cheated out of my wet dream I missed out on teenage s** Was too busy beating off to reader's digest Well I can't help but laugh at my pathetic past From now on things will be different Every day will now be recess Beaten up by football jocks Forced to hide in toilet stalls Chased home by rabid dogs Somehow survived it all 'Kick Me' sign taped to my back I had to run out of my art cla** sh** rolling out of my slacks Chasing me down the stairwell