[Verse 1: Macklemore] I woke up, threw some sweat pants on Then I fed my cat and I walked to the mini mart And I really want a donut, shouldn't get a donut Bought a donut, f** it man it's really hard Supposed to be on a diet, I wanna be like Ryan He lost thirty pounds on that paleo But f** it man I love fried sh** I was gonna get skinny for the summer I was gonna start doing my crunches But looking down at my stomach I'm a go to the beach, but I'm not taking my shirt off in public My girl shaped like a bottle of Coke Me? I'm shaped like a bottle of nope I'd like to order a hot dog, some bon bons A large soda, and some tacos to go [Interlude: Macklemore] I never knew what a carbohydrate was Turns out that it's all the snacks I love [Verse 2: Macklemore] I wanna be like Hugh Jackman, you know jacked man With a really huge package I wanna be the 2015 Batman And send Ben Affleck packing If you ain't gonna treat Jennifer Garner right You don't deserve to have that You better pa** that to the homie Matt Damon He eat the booty like Pac Man [Chorus: Xperience] You know I feel good about this place You know I feel good about this steak You know I feel good about this shake You know I feel good about these plates You know I feel good about these crepes You know I feel good about this cake You know I just love how it tastes I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no [Verse 3: Macklemore] Happy New Years Everybody got a resolution But the next day, we forget about it never do 'em I went to the gym and got a membership Five minutes on the treadmill and I never lift That was four years ago I should probably cancel this But they tell me I gotta do it in person, ain't that a b**h? But tomorrow though, I'm a get fit Get me a fuel band and a fit-bit Get me some workout shoes, and a bench press Some mulu lemons and a french press I'm a finally focus do some private yoga Exercise my shoulders, I'm a hide the donuts Realign my posture, no time for sofas I'm finally sober no lime Coronas But again, that's tomorrow And today man I gotta go big cause it's my last day Before I lose that weight, I gotta get one last plate and go big I ate all night, Kool-Aid on ice I woke up and I felt like sh** And I said, "you know what, man f** it I should probably start on Monday instead" Motherf**er let's eat [Chorus: Xperience] You know I feel good about this place You know I feel good about this steak You know I feel good about this shake You know I feel good about these plates You know I feel good about these crepes You know I feel good about this cake You know I just love how it tastes I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no