Ryan Caraveo - Wallowing lyrics

Sometimes I feel crazy Like I lost half of my mind Moving outta decline Without a ladder to climb And half of the time I feel like I'm actually fine Battling my personality's a habit of mine I have it in line Until I start to think I zoned off so long I forgot to blink Till my hands go numb and I drop my drink And the bath keeps fillin' while I start to sink My heart just shrinks While I drown in the tub Phone ringing but I can't hear the sound of the buzz Feelin' like paradise after downing them d** I don't think it'll k** me but I'm down if it does An' as I drown in the silence The phone ringing by the sink starts soundin' like a siren Heard mama's voice saying this is real life sh** Boy I didn't raise you to be nothing like this You better start fightin' And if you can't swing em' hands little man Then you better start bitin' You better start breathin' You got a little brother He needs someone to look upto and to believe in You too young to be leaving And you and the man up above ain't even Pain and regret I'm laying right between em' My hands in drinks and I still haven't eaten Head keeps pounding Heart still beatin' Water starts bubbling cause I start screamin' Climbed out the tub and I started dry heavin' Thinking that it's time that I slaughtered my demons I, let it sink in until the moons gone I'm done feelin' hollow I been wallowin' too long How can I sit and not bother to move on When I got a dream and a father to prove wrong I mean I gotta keep fightin' this I made it this far after all types o' sh** Still haven't grown Haven't had a wife and kids I mean I'm, nineteen with a life to live And sometimes it gets a lot harder than this Think it's no good for you but a part of it is Don't agree please pardon me then And Lord keep watching incase I fall off again