Ruelle - Lesley lyrics

[Verse 1: Dave] Look They say the universe, it works in a strange way And it must be true because, we ain't from the same background or same place But me and Lesley ended up on that same train I'm talking everyday, I used to wake up around seven or eight To catch the 906 from Norbury Station Two different worlds in the same location and- One day we ended up speaking And I would talk about college, she would talk about meetings And how she's planning on leaving How she hates what she does but she needs it I asked her what she was doing, it's the weekend And she said, she said [Chorus: Dave & Ruelle] I don't know myself I don't know myself no more [Verse 2: Dave] She used to be the life of the party for true And now she going out hardly ever Her man got her in the yard forever And her friends wanna help but it's hard to tell her Hard to let her know that her man's possessive and aggressive And she can't even see it, but for them it's clear as day, she's in a situation Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative So, she could see it from a mile off Turtleneck jumpers, makeup around the eye spots All the signs were there But Lesley made it seem a light affair Said it wasn't right to share Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man I didn't know much about him, but he's been in the can Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasoning To be honest, I don't know what Les' sees in him 'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart But they've both got demons and a deep past You know opposites attract, apparently I never heard her talk about her family ever, uh-uh He was all that she had Until they had an argument and he stopped calling her back And I don't know if there was more to the story than that 'Cause she plays things down but according to that He went missing one day in the morning he ran She's doing overtime, struggling affording the flat 'Til she, lost her job it f**ed all of her plans Couldn't pay the rent, borrowing and calling for cash But Hannah she was there for her, cared for her When I saw Les' she told me [Chorus: Dave & Ruelle] I don't know myself I don't know myself no more [Verse 3: Dave] Les' saying, "I got nothing to live for It's been raw, but David, I ain't never been this poor There's no income, my boyfriend left me So how the f** am I going to survive when this kid's born?" I said, "It's a blessing as mad as it is And Les', I never even knew you were having a kid" Bro, she's four months pregnant, young and neglected Single but I don't think she wants to accept it So she's still texting ex's trying to get this Back on track but I don't think that she gets it It's emotional obsession, clinical depression Life is a lesson And you ain't got to sit and cry And Lesley, living in this gift called life There's no better gift than the gift of life So, can you handle it? [Chorus: Dave & Ruelle] I don't know myself I don't know myself no more [Verse 4: Dave] But that changed her perspective Late in December, her baby's expected to drop She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped Only got to wait a few months Her and Hannah had lunch Told her she's pregnant And they're the closest of bredrins So she didn't stunt to tell her, I think that it's an error You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever If I'm honest that's something you should have done together She doesn't know that her and Jason are going out again And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carrying a child for them She had daydreams of settling down with Jason, better 'cause now they're together it's wild Feeling like she needs to call her friends and tell 'em 'cause while she's letting him down but most of them are never around She calls Hannah the next day Still tryna figure out the best way to tell her that she's getting back together with an ex-flame So she left her a voicemail Like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back? I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back I used to be so f**ing confident But these days, I swear that-" [Chorus: Dave & Ruelle] I don't know my self I don't know myself no more [Verse 5: Dave] It's 3:30 Lesley was meant to get a scan But today I think she's going home early Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid Addressing any reservations Have that conversation Middle of the summer and it's raining Waiting at the train station Hella cancellations So she gets a taxi, sitting in a backseat Blue jean jacket and a maxi Actually, tired and her legs are aching Touched the destination Way faster than the cab driver's estimation She put the key in the door She, couldn't believe what she see on the floor Some size five trainers, raging Tears in her eyes, but it's cool 'cause they must be the neighbors And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked Lesley running up the stairs but she's making noise And she can hear Jason's voice Saying "Hide in the closet" But he's made his choice So, she bursts in saying "What kind of person would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend?" Jason, saying "What the f**, you're pregnant? What the f**? You weren't even gonna tell me, I mean what the f**? What do you want from us? Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love" Lesley telling Jason, "I don't wanna love I don't want a you and I, I don't want an us And also, I don't wanna talk loads One more line before I dash like Morse code" Open the wardrobe And Jason's on the edge "I just wanna see if she was prettier than me, slimmer than me Maybe your baby's similar to me Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me, fitter than me To satisfy you quicker than me I got your baby in my stomach and you did this to me What did I ever do to you for you to finish with me? I didn't believe my girls but they were thinking of me And give it to me, the wardrobe, give me the key" I was pulling up the door but Jason's bigger than me Literally, I remember viscerally Jason pulling from behind me now he's gripping on me White flashes, eye gashes, when he's hitting me, see I just wanted to disappear I wasn't living for me Physically I shut the f**ing doors quick as can be He's outside asking why I made him do what he did Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in I'm feeling afraid, barricaded, with a chair in the handle I'm hearing sirens but I just wanna run away but I can't Jason's gone by the time police are comin' they saw that ain't no one else in the house and feds are running through the door shouting "'We have reports of an argument with a woman' There's blood all over the floor and it's splattered onto the wall Les-ley's on the bed and she's tryna speak to the feds She's deep in the stress and his meter's above her head If anything, she couldn't even say anything But she's got this really sharp pain where her belly is So, they call an ambulance, Lesley didn't plan for this Police are in the room tryna find the missing piece of the puzzle Until they stumble on something that's kind of random It's a phone in the wardrobe They had five missed phone calls from Jason and also a couple other numbers so they thinking that it's no help Until they play the voicemail like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back? I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back I used to be so f**ing confident But these days, I swear that-" [Chorus: Dave & Ruelle] I don't know my self I don't know myself no more [Verse 6: Dave] She felt sick to her stomach, she started panicking Mind rattling, tryna understand what Hannah did Battling the shame 'cause the situation embarra**ing She's tryna fathom it betrayed by her own garrison Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this Piercing pain in the stomach, she couldn't handle it Now she's waiting for an ambulance Yeah And I know she's strong, but when I heard about what happened I was over-shocked Her nose was gone, her jaw line shattered and rocked They said her baby was the reason she was holding on She dozing off, doctors getting no response Her heart rate slowing down and they don't know what's wrong Picked her up, got her out the home and onto the stretcher for good measures but she fading out, oh She took damage to the brain and now she's in a coma as we speak but I ain't sure if she can make it out You see this time that I'm taking out to tell you the story is more than a song or track It's a message to a woman with a toxic man I'm begging you to get support if you're lost or trapped I understand that I can never understand and I ain't saying that it's easy but it must be right Some of your sisters, aunties, mums or wives Are f**ed aside and they will never touch on why I'm touched 'cause I've seen women that I love though like- Cry little red tears through a bloodshot eye This sh**'s awful, no matter what culture it isn't normal Men try and twist it, make it seem like it's your fault In that train full of people that you're taking How many Lesleys are running from their Jasons? [Outro: Ruelle] Angel without wings Like the day without the night to bring her peace A song without a voice A spark without a flame A child without a name Oh, it's just wrong Like an ocean without a shore A soldier without a war How can we do this anymore? A song without a voice A spark without a flame A child without a name Oh, it's just wrong [Interlude] Well, we've made a ma**ive amount of progress in this last year, haven't we? Feels like a long journey And I must say it's been a pleasure, to watch you mature and grow in thought And in your career and life You've opened up immensely I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss these sessions But you know, you can never stop learning about yourself So you're always welcome I'm just happy you're at a place now where you feel you understand your emotions And are in control