Ruby Ibarra - Beyoutiful lyrics

I wanna be 5'5" with brown eyes Big breasts, small waist, and nice thighs 'Cause I only see myself through your eyes So I don't eat, but I'm fed with more lies So I try and I cry and I purge and I vomit The urge to be honest with no courage to just stop it I see society's ideals, so I feel I need a shield Skipped another meal so I can keep my appeal But my skin starts to peel so I can no longer feel What it means to be real so I fall on these heels 'Cause who cares about the frame that holds my diploma? Or the train of my thoughts that molds my persona? Or the way I've been brought up to be as a grown up? But it's the body's frame, trained, by the way of society's bo*er 'Cause I have to be 5'10" and in trend And only feel good about the clothes that I'm in Experience defined by the beds I've climbed in Shadowed by a mask that I'm forced to hide in Of course I lie then, thinking each night I need to lie beside men Drinking each time my pride inside is rising Trying to find me but I've lost what I've been Who would've thought that it's me that I fought each time, and All at the cost of what I've become When I look into the mirror I feel numb Staring back at me are supersized thighs, empty, hollow eyes Heart full of cries, brain filled with lies, body materialized, so I Nip and I tuck, I snip and I pluck Lips covered in muck, hips controlled by these cuffs Can't stick to my gut, I'm fixed and I'm stuck I'm tricked by this bluff 'till I'm sick and throw up This sh** is corrupt, I'm forced to grow up Can't fit in this stuff, this change is abrupt Stick thin ain't enough, must be thick with C-Cups Tears drip as I rub off this make up that's rough Society's planted silicones so we end up being sickened clones Stuck in this cyclic flow of afflicted bones So don't let your sister know that she's worth more than lipsticks and combs Or that her blisters will show everytime she vomits at home When your parents aren't home and she's all alone Only seeing what these magazines and TV's have shown See I wanna be a Cover Girl, so I cover the real girl But if you peel off these pearls, under's a concealed world Of a girl with hopes and dreams, brighter than things that gleam Knows that she's a queen, knows what her life means 'Cause I can only be 5 feet with slanted eyes Geek and kinda shy, small feet and crooked smile, just me with NO DISGUISE