Rubberbandits - Greyhound Shuffle lyrics

(Spoken by Blindboy Boatclub) This song is about my dog and also about a new dance called the Greyhound Shuffle. C'mon, boy, let's go into the pet shop and get you some bones; I'm so fond of you! That's a good boy, do your tricks for the man I got a pet greyhound; he runs pure fast And when he's in a race kid, he never comes last He's got gorgeous paws; His name is Lavender I circle off his f**ing birthday on the calendar I leave it hanging by his leash beside the banister In the pet shop I only deal with the manager And I buy his food in a big, c*nting canister The manager is sound and his first name is Alistair (Chorus) Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo... The Greyhound Shuffle Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo... The Greyhound Shuffle Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo... The Greyhound Shuffle Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo... The Greyhound Shuffle Lavender, I know you'd never bite me Or scratch your a** up on the carpet just to rile or spite me Your hairy balls, your slender jaws! If you were the pope, they'd call you Pope John Paws When I have a rope, I take you on long walks The monkey says 'ooh' and the seagull squawks I don't give a f** when the neighbors talk They're just jealous of your figure and your greyhound's co*k (Chorus) (Spoken by Blindboy Boatclub) The greyhound shuffle is not just a dance, kid! It's a state of unrest When you feel so inspired by this performance in the Tailor of Panama That you write a letter to Brendan Gleeson everyday for 6 months When the police call to your door Talking about shoplifting Egyptian cotton sheets That's the Greyhound Shuffle When your best friend that you know all of your life. One day turns around and ask you to blow c**aine up his arse with a straw That's the Greyhound Shuffle The Greyhound Shuffle is not the bu*ter on your toast The Greyhound Shuffle is not your new shoes The Greyhound Shuffle is not the look of endearment in your mothers eyes The Greyhound Shuffle is not 'LOL' 'OMG' or random The Greyhound Shuffle is not for sale