Every time we think about same-s** marriage It makes us sick to our guts I mean, two people who want to commit to a stable Monogamous life-long relationship What are they, nuts? It's unnatural! Now a man should not lie with a person who is a guy He should only lie to his wife, the bible is clear We're — Defenders of marriage In three-bu*ton suits We'll raise our double standard and see who salutes Defenders of marriage Defending the institution against people who want to get married Every time we think about same-s** parents "Oh, my gosh!" we exclaim I mean, two people who want to provide a protective And nurturing family environment Have they no shame? It's so deviant! It's the Lord's holy word, as my second wife said to my third That a family's based on obligation and fear We're — Defenders of marriage Connubial narcs Ever vigilant and patriotic patriarchs Defenders of marriage Defending the institution against people who want to get married One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry I shared a six-pack with an old John Bircher And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary, to ponder He said, "It's nature versus legislature." [Spoken] Are people born gay, or do they turn gay just to piss off Dick Armey? We're an army of dicks With a militant stance Let's get the government out of our lives and into our pants Defenders of marriage Defending the institution against people who want to get married And have their insurance carried And be beneficiary'd And be next to the ones they love when they are buried