Roy "Chubby" Brown - Chubby's Twelve Days of Christmas lyrics

On the first day of christmas, me girlfriend s**ed me dick I had to stop myself from coming really quick On the second day of christmas she kissed me bollocks too She gave me a blow job, you know the way the women do On the third day of christmas I had my head between her legs With my tounge I tried to fertilise her eggs On the forth day of christmas her pubes were up me nose By now you'll think I'm s** mad I suppose First she s**ed me dick Kissed me bollocks too Pubes were up me nose I said "mind me cartilage, me pins are in my bare knee" On the fifth day of christmas I stopped for a pause I noticed these big skid marks on her draws On the sixth day of christmas I thought She's very loose Too late, my tounge was soaked in fanny juice On the seventh day of christmas I was staring at this la** Well I was staring at this paper stuck to her arse On the eighth day of christmas I started to feel ill On the paper it said Newcastle had lost two-nill First she s**ed me dick Kissed me bollocks too Pubes were up me nose Skid marks on her draws She stunk of fanny juice Newspaper on her arse I started to feel ill To part a fart and lick a hairy place where the girls pee On the ninth day of christmas, I'd been shagging for eight days I must have f**ed this girl a thousand different ways On the tenth day of christmas without being too blunt To be honest I'd had enough of her large c*nt On the eleventh day of christmas i went to see the quack He said "my dear boy you've been licking too much crack" First she s**ed me dick Kissed me bollocks too Pubes were up me nose Skid marks on her draws Stunk of fanny juice Newspaper on her arse I started to feel ill I'd been shagging for eight days It's blunt to mention c*nt I'd been licking too much crack But now my tart's frigid and that's a reality On the twelfth day of christmas, found out she'd given me AIDS