Roger Bart - Dress Big lyrics

[HERACLES] You gotta dress big Dress bold Dress large You gotta look forceful And resourceful And in charge You wanna dress mean Not clean -- Aggressive [DIONYSOS] Very impressive [HERACLES] Gotta dress ma**ive Not pa**ive [DIONYSOS] Very impressive [HERACLES] Gotta dress fierce And raw And hairy More than just prominent Predominantly scary It's not the real you, I guarantee you That'll see you Through this gig It's the rig You dig? Dress big What do you have in that bag? [DIONYSOS] Well fortunately, I packed several different ensembles [HERACLES] Like what? [DIONYSOS] Well, I have this in gold, blue and magenta... [HERACLES] Any weapons? [DIONYSOS] Only my rapier wit [HERACLES] It isn't enough To be a god You gotta convey it With a deity's facade A god should look godlike With a bod like -- Well, like mine [DIONYSOS] You're the meaning of divine [HERACLES] And so that's who you'll be DIONYSOS: What's who I'll be? [HERACLES] You'll pretend to be me [DIONYSOS] Oh, no, no, no -- that's a bit of a stretch [HERACLES] You flaunt a few furs You drape a few skins You hang a few pelts [DIONYSOS] I have this in sable [HERACLES] Takes more than a mink To make people think You're somebody else [DIONYSOS] Perhaps a hat? [HERACLES] You gotta wear everything you've k**ed Which oughta help cover up your build Just let 'em see this, boy, they'll be chilled Not to say thrilled... Here, try this lionskin on for size [DIONYSOS] Oh, my! [HERACLES] The vine leaves have to go [DIONYSOS] But it's my signature! [HERACLES] Not any more. You're gonna have to be me [DIONYSOS] Very well... [HERACLES] Better You gotta look messy Not saucy Less dressy More bossy Be mussy Not glossy Too fussy Too Fosse You're fighting the outfit and the outfit's winning. Stomach in! Chest out! Head up! Atta boy! [DIONYSOS] Oh! Well, I -- I hate to admit it, but this actually looks better on me than it does on you [HERACLES] Some people can't wear lion, you can [DIONYSOS] Yes, and I like what it's saying. It says I'm a warrior, but I make my own clothes. Xanthias, how do I look? [XANTHIAS] Like the circle of life has stopped [HERACLES] You don't walk, you stride You don't amble, you don't sidle You remind them you're an idol [DIONYSOS] Well, you don't expect me to carry that gigantic club around, do you? [HERACLES] What kind of a god are you? [DIONYSOS] The kind with lower back problems [HERACLES] And don't say, "lower back problems." Say: "I have a spine of steel!" You don't talk, you growl [DIONYSOS growls timidly] You don't mutter things, you roar 'em [DIONYSOS growls a bit louder] As for matters of decorum Ignore 'em You gotta act big And loud And rough [DIONYSOS] And that's enough? [HERACLES] As long as you swear a lot And wear a lot of stuff [DIONYSOS] Damn. Fooey [HERACLES] You gotta speak firmer -- [DIONYSOS] Damn! Fooey! [HERACLES] Don't murmur -- [DIONYSOS] Damn!! Fooey!! [HERACLES] Don't mumble -- [Growling in a low ba**] Rumble -- [DIONYSOS roars like a lion] By George, he's got it! [HERACLES/XANTHIAS] I think you've got it! [DIONYSOS] [Menacingly, to HERACLES] You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?! [HERACLES] That's it, now glower -- [DIONYSOS] bu*t out! [HERACLES] -- To show your power [DIONYSOS] So's your old man! [HERACLES] Watch how they cower As your power Starts to flower [DIONYSOS] Stick it in your ear! [HERACLES] What you'll discover Is that people think the cover Is the book It's all in the look So look like the oak Instead of the twig [DIONYSOS] Blow it out your a**! [HERACLES] Walk tall! Stand proud! Look fierce! Talk loud! Dress big!