Roger Ball - Help I'm White & I Can't Get Down lyrics

[Verse 1, spoken, rap-like] My woman told me last Friday night Her birthday's coming and things ain't right Well we've been together since before the war And I never had her out on the dance hall floor I didn't know what to say I never learned to dance, I only learned to play And to watch other people do their thing My job was to pick and sing [Verse 2, spoken, rap-like] Well I moped around the house I watched late TV and slept on the couch I flipped through the dial and after a while A commercial came on that made me smile It said learn to dance, learn the moves Call 1-900 you just can't lose Well it didn't take me long I jumped right up and I ran to the phone The operator asked, "Can I help you sir?" And this is what I said to her [Chorus, sung] Help, I'm white and I can't get down I got two left feet planted on the ground I need some help if I do the town Help, I'm white and I can't get down [Verse 3, spoken, rap-like] I took the course and I learned quick Just one week, it did the trick So when that magic evening came I knew I wouldn't be ashamed The floor was crowded but something was wrong I didn't recognize the songs These cowboys ain't on my video tape I wonder if there's been some mistake I tried some moves, I spun around Knocked a whole lot of dancers down I kept my cool, had to be vogue 'Til they kicked my head doing the Cotton Eyed Joe I laid there awhile and held my face My woman went screaming from the place I crawled out the back door I didn't want no more I've had enough, I'm going home And make one more call on the telephone And when they answer on the other end This is what I'll say again [Chorus, sung] Help, I'm white and I can't get down I got two left feet planted on the ground I need some help if I do the town Help, I'm white and I can't get down Help, I'm white and I can't get down I got two left feet planted on the ground I need some help if I do the town Help, I'm white and I can't get down