Rodney Carrington - Carlos lyrics

I gotta tell you this too,you know,I'm a short f**er,you know,like I said,I gotta,I work purely off personality.I aint got a problem with it.If I was tall I'd probably be stupid,I'm just guessing,I don't know. But you tall f**ers got it good when it comes to walking in the bedroom,just dropping your drawers."Oh my god what the fu-"You know.We,Us short f**ers gotta be creative.I came up with something.Put on a wig,and talk with an accent.I brought my wig with me,I'd like to share it with you: Hello my name is Carlos. I want to make love to you. I want you to get on the bed,and take off your panties,do as i say. Hurry girlfriend,right now,okay. Then I want you to pretend that your feet hate each other,do as i say. Heh,you drunk f**ers'll try to use that line tonight.Every one of you will f** it up too "Get up dere on the bed and pretend your feet stink.Well I can't remember what he sed just get your panties off!!I want a lil pootie poo." One of you girls tonight will be lucky enough to have your hiney spanked by Carlos.Who will it be? Who will be my s**y girl?I will find you s**y girl and you will come.And when you come you will come again,who will it be? Who will be my s**y girl?I want my s**y girl right now,where is she? I like you,right there,hiding behind your boyfriend. Come to Carlos. Look at you! I like you s**y girl where did you get that dress?Right now I tell you. I tell-Here's whats going to happen. I will spank your hiney,like this. You will really like this-Don't fight it,do as i say! We will have fun. Come to Carlos,right now.Bend over this chair,do as i say.Bend over! (hoh)Man!Over-achiever,I love her!Oh wai-I li-oh-It's okay,I play,I play,she attack me,you saw,okay. Ummm,when you bend over,I would like to do a little trick. I would like to make my weiner dissapear,okay? No no,no no,it's okay,it's okay,it's okay,it will reappear. And then dissapear again,really fast,it's o-Aye!I play!She attack me,you saw,okay. She can't keep her hands off me,look at that,okay.Crazy. I tell you what,you don't want to do that,I tell you what.Lay on Carlos. Come,lay on Carlos!It's fun,come to-Come!Bouncy ride,bouncy ride,come on.Lay on Carlos!Okay,okay,okay.Sometimes it does not work. A woman needs a little romance,I will give it to her.I tell you what.Get on your chair,just like this,it's okay.Give me that,I tell you what,give me that water,right there.Here,I'll give you a little something,make you,put you in the mood.This is,uh,this is horny juice.It'll make you very horny,be careful.Taste.You are horny,huh?Ahaha.I will be horny with you.I will be a little more horny than you. Oh,he wants to be horny too. We will have a threesome! Jesus Christ Vah!!!Ahahahahaha I like you.You will fall in love before it's over,don't fight it.You are horny right now.I tell you what I will do,I will sing to you: As I walk on to the stage, Tonight I turn another page, Another nitch up in my cup, I will sit down in your lap, Look at you you turn me o-oon, I squeeze your b**bs when we're alo-oone I am caught up in your trap... I hope she dont give me the clap Okay,I play. Thanks for coming out,Good Night!