Robert Reyes - Bagpipes from Baghdad lyrics

[Intro] Oh! It's music to my ears! Oh, man How can I describe... The way I feel? f**ing great, man Ok, let me see How can I begin? [Verse 1] Locked in Mariah's wine cellar all I had for lunch Was bread, wine, more bread, wine and Captain Crunch Red wine for breakfast and for brunch And to soak it up an in-between snack crackers to munch Mariah whatever happened to us? Why did we have to break up? All I asked for was a gla** of punch! You see I never really asked for much I can't imagine what's going through your mind after such A nasty break-up with that Latin hunk Luis Miguel Nick Cannon better back the f** Up, I'm not playin', I want her back, you punk This is Hello Kitty bedspread satin funk Mixed with Egyptian with a little rap and punk Zapp and Eric Clapton, Shaft, Frank Zappa, crunk And yeah baby I want another crack at ya You can beat me with any spatula that you want I mean I really want you bad, you c*nt Nick you had your fun, I've come to kick you in your sack of junk Man I could use a fresh batch of blood So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture [Hook] Bagpipes from Baghdad When will it ever cease For Pete's sakes he's crazy to say the least Bagpipes from Baghdad What's goin through my mind Half the time when I rhyme we're blowin up like Bagpipes from Baghdad Somebody turn the vacancy sign on Cause I'm gone, blowing up my Bagpipes from Baghdad I run the streets and act Like a madman holdin a Glad bag [Verse 2] You can be a permanent fixture in my lyrical mixture I'm the miracle whip... trickster My signature sound when a tube of lipstick's around I'm bound to put it on in an instant, wow man What an ensemble, what an a**ortment of pharma- -ceuticals this beautiful pill dust in my palm, my Cuticles get residue just from touchin the bottle Never knew I could remind me so much of my momma I'll cut ya like Dahmer, pull the butcher knife on ya The size of a sword boy I'm like the f**in Red Sonja Get it stuck in your cornea, nice knowin ya, Norman You're so f**in' annoyin', drop the shovel boy You don't know what the f** you're doin I ain't playin' no f**in' more Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the f**in' who*e Every minute there's a s**er born, snuck up on Malachi made the motherf**er s** on a shuck of corn Shuck of, shuck of corn, Chaka Khan Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck and told him it's f**ing on Man what the f** are ya doin' You're runnin over the snowblower with the lawnmower Blowin' your bagpipes from Baghdad [Hook] Bagpipes from Baghdad When will it ever cease For Pete's sakes he's crazy to say the least Bagpipes from Baghdad What's goin through my mind Half the time when I rhyme we're blowin up like Bagpipes from Baghdad Somebody turn the vacancy sign on Cause I'm gone, blowing up my Bagpipes from Baghdad I run the streets and act Like a madman holdin a Glad bag [Verse 3] In the bed with two brain dead lesbian vegetables I bet you they become heteros**ual Nothing will stop me from molestin' you Titty-f**in' you til' your breast nipple flesh tickles my testicles Is what they said to the two conjoined twins How's it going girlfriends, you need a boyfriend You need some ointment, just set up an appointment Who's gonna see the doctor first, we'll do a coin flip I just got my one-year sobriety coin chip When the bad get goin, how bad does the going get Baby you shouldn't have any trouble rubbin groins wit Each other especially when you're joined at the hip I'm going to get the needle and thread from the sewing kit An attempt to separate 'em and stitch 'em back at the loins, sh** Lure the little boy with the chocolate chips ahoy! chip- Cookie lookie even took me a Polaroid flick [Hook] Bagpipes from Baghdad When will it ever cease For Pete's sakes he's crazy to say the least Bagpipes from Baghdad What's goin through my mind Half the time when I rhyme we're blowin up like Bagpipes from Baghdad Somebody turn the vacancy sign on Cause I'm gone, blowing up my Bagpipes from Baghdad I run the streets and act Like a mad man holdin' a glad bag of Bagpipes from Baghdad [Outro] Hghum-day-li-laaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aa-aah-aah