Robert L. Freedman - Stop! Wait! What?! lyrics

Detective: So sorry to interrupt such a festive occation But I am under strict instructions to arrest you - For murder! Monty: Murder, did you say? Stop! Wait! What?! Well I didn't k** Adelbert D'Ysquith Though that certainly was my intent Rather hard to digest That I could be arrested For something that I only meant And it couldn't be poor cousin Asquith For he graciously died on his own Was that hole in the ice Just a bit too precise Was my presence at Chiselmere known? Murder, did you say? Detective: I'm afraid so, your lordship Monty: Stop! Wait! When?! I should doubt I was seen in the harbor Lady Hyacinth fell in so fast As for Salome's end All suspicion would send Them at once to that backstabbing cast! Did the bee-stings reveal my deception? Was I seen at the weightlifting hall? How rude to intrude on this lovely reception For I am the Earl after all Yes I am the Earl after all! Though it's come, I concede, at a cost But where was my blunder My weakness, I wonder Is all of it now to be lost? Is all of it now to be lost? Murdering... whom? Detective: Lord Adlebert D'Ysquith, Eighth Earl of Highhurst! Monty: Stop! Wait! Who?! For the murder of Adlebert D'Ysquith Were there ever a farce, this is it I am almost amused I should stand here accused Of a murder I didn't commit But surely, the Earl died of a heart attack? Detective: No, your lordship, it WAS foul play Monty: And of course, I should like to inquire By what method he happened to die But more to the point What events now conspire To lead them to think it was I! I've dispatched half a dozen Each one a cousin All of them quite by design It is not a defense It just makes no sense! This murder was not one of mine!