here among them -- the americans -- this baffling multi people -- extremes and variegations -- their noise -- restlessness -- their almost frightening energy -- how best describe these aliens in my reports to The Counselors disguise myself in order to study them unobserved adapting their varied pigmentations -- white black red brown yellow -- the imprecise and strangering distinctions by which they live -- by which they justify their cruelties to one another charming savages -- enlightened primitives -- brash new comers lately sprung up in our galaxy -- how describe them -- do they indeed know what or who they are -- do not seem to -- yet no other beings in the universe make more extravagant claims for their importance and identity like us they have created a veritable populace of machines that serve and soothe and pamper and entertain -- we have seen their flags and foot prints on the moon -- also the intricate rubbish left behind -- a wastefully ingenious people -- many it appears worship the Unknowable Essence -- the same for them as for us -- but are more faithful to their machine made gods technologists their shamans oceans deserts mountains grain fields canyons forests -- variousness of landscapes weathers sun light moon light as at home -- much here is beautiful -- dream like vistas reminding me of home -- item -- have seen the rock place known as garden of the gods and sacred to the first indigenes -- red monoliths of home -- despite the tensions i breath in i am attracted to the vigorous americans -- disturbing sensuous appeal of so many -- never to be admitted something they call the american dream -- sure we still believe in it i guess -- an earth man in the tavern said -- irregardless of the some times night mare facts we always try to double talk our way around -- and its okay the dreams okay and means whats good could be a damn sight better -- means every body in the good old u s a should have the chance to get ahead or at least should have three squares a day -- as for myself i do okay not -- crying hunger with a loaf of bread tucked under my arm you understand i fear one does not clearly follow i replied notice you got a funny accent pal -- like where you from he asked -- far from here i mumbled he stared hard -- i left must be more careful -- item -- learn to use okay their pa** word okay crowds gathering in the streets today for some reason obscure to me -- noise and violent motion repulsive physical contact -- sentinels pigs i heard them called with flailing clubs -- rage and bleeding and frenzy and screaming -- machines wailing -- unbearable decibels -- i fled lest vibrations of the brutal scene do further harm to my metabolism already over taxed The Counselors would never permit such barbarous confusion -- they know what is best for our sereni ty -- we are an ancient race and have outgrown illusions cherished here -- item -- their vaunted liberty -- no body pushes me around i have heard them say -- land of the free they sing -- what do they fear mistrust betray more than the freedom they boast of in their ignorant pride -- have seen the squalid ghettoes in their violent cities paradox on paradox -- how have the americans managed to survive parades fireworks displays video spectacles much grandiloquence much buying and selling they are celebrating their history -- earth men in antique uniforms play at the carnage whereby the americans achieved identity -- we too recall that struggle as enterprise of suffering and faith uniquely theirs -- blonde miss teen age america waving from a red white and blue flower float as the goddess of liberty -- a divided people seeking rea**urance from a past few under stand and many scorn -- why should we sanction old hypocrisies -- thus dissenters -- The Counse lors would silence them a decadent people The Counselors believe -- i do not find them decadent -- a refutation not permitted me -- but for all their knowledge power and inventiveness not yet more than raw crude neophytes like earthlings everywhere though i have easily pa**ed for an american -- in bankers grey afro and dashiki long hair and jeans hard hat yarmulka mini skirt -- describe in some detail for the amusement of The Counselors -- and though my sk** in mimicry is impeccable -- as indeed The Counselors are aware -- some thing eludes me -- some constant amid the variables defies an*lysis and imitation -- will i be judged incompetent america -- as much a problem in metaphysics as it is a nation earthly entity an iota in our galaxy -- an organism that changes even as i examine it -- fact and fantasy never twice the same -- so many variables exert greater caution -- twice have aroused suspicion -- returned to the ship until rumors of humanoids from outer space -- so their scoff ing media voices termed us -- had been laughed away -- my crew and i laughed too of course confess i am curiously drawn -- unmentionable -- to the americans -- doubt i could exist among them for long however -- psychic demands far too severe -- much violence -- much that repels -- i am attracted none the less their variousness their ingenuity their elan vital -- and that some thing -- essence quiddity -- i cannot penetrate or name