Rob McElhenney - Charlie Has Cancer (Original Pilot) Script lyrics

INTRO: 12:45. On A Tuesday. Hollywood, CA. EXT. CHARLIE'S APARTMENT Glenn is waing outside, Charlie's apartment talking to the buzzer CHARLIE: (Through the buzzer) Hello? GLENN: Charlie. CHARLIE: Ya? GLENN: It's Glenn. CHARLIE: Who? GLENN: Glenn! CHARLIE: Oh. Oh, yeah I'll call you up The buzzer goes off and Glenn enters the building Cut to Charlie's door. Charlie opens the door GLENN: Hey! Charlie. CHARLIE: Hey. GLENN: What's up man. Your face looks kinds poofy man. Did you just wake up? CHARLIE: Oh yeah. Actually I've been crying a little bit. GLENN: Oh ehm, I'm sorry. Ey listen, do you have any sugar man? I just a sh**load of coffee and I ran out of sugar. CHARLIE: I might, here come on in. GLENN: Sure Glenn walks into Charlie's apartment, the place looks really shabby GLENN: Jesus dude, I thought my place looked like sh**. CHARLIE: Oh yeah, sorry. GLENN: Did you have a party or something. I mean seem like you're a little hungover or some sh**. Glenn picks up an XBOX game CHARLIE: No, it's I found out that I might have cancer. GLENN: What? CHARLIE: Yeah, found out a couple weeks ago that I might have cancer. That's why I've been kinda hold-up in here. I haven't been going to auditions. I haven't even told anybody. GLENN: You haven't told anybody that you have cancer? CHARLIE: That I might have cancer. I mean I don't know yet that I have cancer. I'm waiting to find that out. But no, yeah I haven't. GLENN: Jesus dude, eh. I don't know what to say. Charlie grabs a pamflet CHARLIE: This pamflet goes over cancer and eh... Glenn you know. It feels really good to get this if my chest. I've been beating myself up for weeks in here and eh... GLENN: Yeah, eh yeah. CHARLIE: I mean I'm glad we can talk you know. We can talk right? GLENN: Yeah, eh yeah. I mean we should talk, we should talk. CHARLIE: It started out like this: I wasn't feeling well... GLENN: Oh I'm s.. Did you, did you, did you wanna talk right now? CHARLIE: I was thinking... GLENN: Ah, this is tough Charlie. I... I actually can't. I'm rea... I can't talk right now. I got... I have this meeting that I have in like half an hour. And I've been putting on for like a month dude. CHARLIE: Okay GLENN: I should cancel it! CHARLIE: No, no. GLENN: I'll cancel it dude. No? Charlie shakes his head CHARLIE: Nah, I mean... You know, I don't... GLENN: I really shouldn't cancel it. CHARLIE: Then don't. GLENN: Okay, uhm. An awkward moment of silence. GLENN: Alright, ehm cool. They walk to the door GLENN: So, listen man. Seriously, keep your head up. You'll get through this. CHARLIE: Yeah, I'll be fine. Yeah look, can you see if you can you keep this on the DL. At least until I know... get the results. GLENN: Oh yeah, of course man. CHARLIE: I still don't want... GLENN: I understand, I won't say anything. BOTH: Okay Charlie wants to open the door, Glenn stops him. GLENN: Listen man, do you can I still get that sugar though. I'm sorry, I made a sh**load of coffee. CHARLIE: Yeah, you made.. okay. Charlie gets sugar CHARLIE: Here you go. GLENN: Thanks. (looks at the bag) Uhm, I'll get this back to you. CHARLIE: Okay, great. Well, I'm not really going to need it... so. GLENN: Don't say that. CHARLIE: Oh, no it's that. I don't know, a little bit of a diabetic issue now so uhm. GLENN: Oh, so you really won't need it then. CHARLIE: No. GLENN: Okay, great. Eh, we'll talk! CHARLIE: Okay, diao Glenn. Glenn walks away END OF PILOT