Rico Jeezus - Red Cloud lyrics

I waste away like I'm in shreds now, underneath of the Red Cloud Hanging on by a thread now, barely get out of bed This isn't me to sell my soul out just land milk and honey My days ain't sunny, slave away to make another man's money And now it's just this misery, because everybody's sick of me Because everybody loves their lives, and none of this means sh** to me Don't know how long that I can stay, I want to take this pain away Amazing that a little ray of sun can get them through their days I can't pick up my spirits with prayer, p**y gets old to a player Liquor got an array of and writing taking my day up Lightning outside as I lay up, liquor, lightning and prayers With all my words on their way up, I'd join them if I could pay up They can't understand I'm damned and that it drags on a man That I don't plan to f** the ties up that I have but I'm mad Maybe one day I'll wake up shining in the light that I crave And I'll be brave another day, but I can never be saved Because I live under the red cloud devil in my head I'm just a rebel and the weather always red f** forgiveness for my wickedness, the Red Cloud has witnessed it Stuck with burdens of my badness, roll with sadness like Sisyphus That means liquor over rocks and then I'm chasing a spliff with this Maybe I can't get a first date, because I just want to get a fifth Away with your amazing life, pour mine over a maze of ice So maybe I can see myself through glaze and I won't hate the sight Annihilate my mind and lie awake at night I never entered yours but then you're violating mine while I await the light It's always tainted red like the rain that's dripping on my head Looking for a saint but all I find is sinners in my bed All the while, the room is spinning, windows tinted crimson red I've gone to hell I see this by the path of cinders I was led All the while I bled so the path I took here is tainted red Painted red like the lips on the last one that gave me head No one would take me as I was, with this cloud hanging overhead I'm hoping that my heart will burst from the pain and then paint them red Because I live under the red cloud devil in my head I'm just a rebel and the weather always red So then what if the red would leave me, then people I know don't see me And when I tell them my name in their language they don't believe me And without this rebel's crown gotta think about how to be me So maybe that Cloud relieved me, I need it, it doesn't need me When I'm sitting here buzzing and thinking and got no loving Remember that Cloud was here through my worst and them people wasn't I tell them all of needs and I watch them get up to leave Now my heart is like Mr. Freeze, all these f**ing people to please I've been away for a while and I loved them they didn't know though I think about their smiles now I only see them in photos Because they left me when I needed them, erase them out my memory Found peace when I deleted them, rebel soul won't concede to them I'm bleeding while I breathe in rum, I got my reasons To drink that drama before the devil knows I'm dead I'm leaving I lived on Earth he sees it broke my heart so now we're even I see that Red Cloud in the sky I know it's never leaving