Nicky: Help the homeless! Help the homeless! Ooh! Hey Princeton! Give me a quarter! Here in my hat! Come on, Princeton! It's as easy as that! Helping others brings you Closer to God So give me a quarter... Princeton: I don't have any change Nicky: Hmmm....okay Give me a dollar Princeton: That's not what I meant Nicky: Give me a five Princeton: Are you kidding? Nicky: The more you give The more you get That's being alive! All I'm asking you Is to do what Jesus Christ would do He'd give me a quarter Why don't you? Princeton: All right, all right, here you go Nicky: Ahh, thanks! Princeton: Take care Whoa! Nicky: What's the matter? Princeton: I feel generous! I feel compa**ionate! Nicky: You do? Princeton: Yeah! I feel like a new person - a good person! Helping other people out makes you feel fantastic! Nicky: That's what I've been trying to tell you- Princeton: All this time I've been running around thinking About me, me, me - and where has it gotten me! I'm gonna do something for someone else! Nicky: Me? Princeton: No - Kate! I'm going to raise the money to build that Stupid Monster School she's always talking about! Give me your money! Nicky: What? Princeton: I need it for Kate! Nicky: I need it to eat! Princeton: Come on, Nicky! Nicky: Aww, get lost! Princeton: It'll make you feel great! Nicky: So would a burger! Princeton: When her dream comes true It'll all be partly So give me your money! Nicky: I'd like to, but I can't Princeton: Give me your money! Nicky: I'd like to, but I need it! Princeton: Give me your money! Nicky: I'd like to, but I'm homeless! I can't! I need it! I'm homeless! I can't! I need it! I'm homeless! I can't! I need it! I'm homeless! Okay, here you go Princeton: Thank you! Nicky: Suddenly I am feeling Closer to God It's time to stop begging It's time to start giving! What can I give to Rod? Something he'll like so much he'll take me back Ooh, I know! I'll find him a boyfriend! Princeton: That's the spirit! Both: When you help others You can't help helping yourself! When you help others You can't help helping yourself! Gary Coleman: Hey boys, what's the hat for? Nicky: Ooh, we're collecting money! Princeton: It's for Kate! We're raising money to help build her dream school! Give us your money! Nicky: You'll be glad that you did! Gary Coleman: That's just what my parents told me When I was a kid sh** Nicky: But giving feels so great... Gary Coleman: And I bet it wouldn't hurt Your chances with Kate Princeton: Well, that too Gary Coleman: I'll give you a dollar Princeton: You're a gentleman And a scholar Christmas Eve: We so happy! We just exchange all your wedding gifts for cash! Brian: Honey, don't tell THEM that! Christmas Eve: We get about 2,000 bucks! Brian: Uh, yeah, so - thanks, everybody! Christmas Eve: We rich! Princeton: Give us your money! Nicky: Give us your money! Gary Coleman: Give us your goddamn money! Princeton: Give us the dough! Nicky/Gary Coleman Give us the dough! Princeton/Nicky/Gary Coleman We're raising money For a Monster School But we've got a ways to go Princeton: Sounds like you've Got money to burn Nicky: And it's not like money That you had to earn Princeton/Nicky/Gary Coleman: So give us your money - Christmas Eve: A monster school? Brian: Sounds like a good cause Christmas Eve: Give me your wallet Princeton: Oh my gosh! I don't know how to thank you guys I mean, Kate will be so grateful! That kind of money is such a great start... Gary Coleman: Yeah, $15 Princeton: $15? Christmas Eve: Every little bit help Nicky: Looks like we're gonna have to ask MORE people! All: Hey! Give us your money! All that you've got! Just fork it on over... Gary Coleman: Or some puppets Will get shot! Princeton: Hey! All: It's time to pa** the hat Gary Coleman: And there's nothing you can do 'bout that All: So give us your money! Give us your money! Give us your money! When you help others You can't help helping yourself! When you help others You can't help helping yourself! Every time you Do good deeds You're also serving Your own needs When you help others You can't help helping yourself! When you give To a worthy cause You'll feel as jolly As Santa Clause When you help others You can't Help Helping Yourself!