[RICHARD III] I was sure that you'd love me To that hope, I did cling 'Cause I'm Richard the Third And everybody loves a king! Thought I did a good job Why do you disagree? There's a lot of people Spreading nasty rumors 'bout me Every word is a lie So I'm singing this song 'Cause the history books Have been telling it wrong! Never had a limp Always walked my full height Never had a hump And my arm was alright Never took the crown With illegal power Never k**ed my nephews The princes in the tower Tudor propaganda It's all absurd Time to tell the truth 'Bout King Richard the Third My brother Edward, died His kids too young to rule So I took the throne Why not? I'm nobody's fool! Thomas More wrote a history Said I'd murdered Edward's boys Shakespeare said their d**h Was an evil ploy But I say those two Are historical vandals! They've ruined my image! I mean, what a scandal! Never bumped off Those harmless young heirs Never buried them Under the Tower of London stairs Never poisoned my wife Bumped off her daddy This is me, sweet Richard Do I look like a baddy? Never was two-faced Sure you'll agree I was misunderstood King Richard three Can you imagine it? I'm the last Plantagenet Beaten by Henry In the Wars of the Roses The Tudor dynasty Didn't care that much for me Now I'm painted as a baddy That's why one supposes... Never forget When you hear of my crimes Never drowned my brother In a ma**ive vat of wine Never said "a horse! My kingdom for a horse!" Who made that up? Why, William Shakespeare, of course! Now my tale is told You won't hear a bad word About a special ruler King Richard the Third