Rhett & Link - Tough Decisions (A Whale Is Gonna Die) lyrics

Paper Or plastic Presents itself as a decision with an obvious answer You pick paper 'cause the plastic will end up in the ocean Giving a whale cancer But did you know that The paper in this bag is made from the prickly peckerwood tree Which happens to be The residency of the dwarf winged beaver bee And when the dwarf winged beaver bees no longer have Homes in which to go, then I think you should know That they've been known to reconstruct their hives Right inside those same whale's blowholes So you Can weigh All these factors before you choose to decide But either way Know this A whale is gonna die No matter what you choose A whale is gonna die No matter what you do A whale is gonna die Dine in Or take out An inconsequential question at the fast food restaurant So you take it to go Then on the way home, you know you start to smelling those French fries, so you reach in the bag And take your eyes off the road And drive straight off a bridge And who knows what's in the water below So you should've dined in But if you dined in you decide to shake salt on those fries With the shaker that the previous guy Coughed on, and then you rub your eyes Oh no, the next morning you wake up With a wicked face itch you drive to urgent care With your eyes swelled shut then you Drive off the very same bridge from when you didn't dine in And did I mention Both times you hit A whale A whale is gonna die No matter what you choose A whale is gonna die No matter what you do A whale is gonna die It's gonna be okay Except in the case you're a whale A whale is gonna die