Rhett And Link - The Cat's 9 Lives Song lyrics

Looking down from Heaven, I see my flat carca** (in front of 7/11.) Wish I could say it was the first time, but I'm a cat. (So in terms of life, she's had nine.) The first time I died, as I remember, I landed on my feet. (But, it was into a blender.) My next life, my Fancy Feast cans had somethin' in them. That really fancy thing (was botulism) Life three, easy, nappin' on some jeans. The problem was the jeans (were in a washing machine.) Don't feel sorry for me. I've had nine times the lives you could ever dream Life four I became a pillow on Pinterest Life five I died from shear disinterest Life six I had the urge to feel lava on my whiskers Life seven Chased a bird into a wood chipper Life eight Donated my guts for tennis rackets. But, it turns out they don't even use cat guts! Can you put that in brackets? We'll add it in post! I hope this song wasn't a drag, but I just had to let the cat out of the bag!